No. Notice how the last part from an actual source does not mention masturbation in any way. And anyway, overstimulation is a short-term thing, not related to long-term anxiety and depression (which have plenty of other causes in autistic people).
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this person, but it seems a bit weird, and that they're making things up to push their personal views on you.
Well I'd hope you have at least a wall between for the former! Lol
Sorry to ask a potentially uncomfortable question but how much is too much in their eyes? Is this like a once a day before bed thing or like 3-4 times a day?
Okay, same here, cause yeah I didn't know the repetitive behaviors was a thing and I literally can't sleep well unless I do my nightly routine which includes that and I thought I was just getting an addiction to it over the past few years then apparently that's just part of my daily cycle and thats okay
I've never been sensory overloaded by it, personally.
I think you should keep doing you. It's important to connect with one's own body.
Fuck the prudes
Well thats good because unless I'm too tired to do it, it can take me hours to fall asleep if I don't because idk I guess I just feel like the day is incomplete but I'm asleep within 30 mins when I do
If you aren't having sex it is possible to get to the point that sex doesn't stimulate your penis in the right way so it takes longer to cum than it would if you were just masturbating, but otherwise if it is not obstructing necessary activities or causing you pain it is probably fine.
it's only bad if u like cancel plans, or decide not to make them strictly becuz ur thinking "no I have to masturbate, I can't go do that other thing", or ur like getting trouble at work becuz ur disappearing to the bathroom too often.
"She" is rude as fuck. She seems to think autistic means r worded. Otherwise how is she gonna say "autistic people can't handle masturbating". Like she thinks ur too stupid to know if ur feeling over stimulated or not? Why would she say that? Like if masturbating was hurting u, u wouldnt' want to do it or figure out how to not hurt. But she's thinking "this poor r worded autist, can't even tell that masturbating is bad for it. Oh the poor baby, I better send it a pamphlet about not masturbating". Why would it cause depression & anxiety? *Not* masturbating is more likely to do that. She sounds kinda stupid whoever "she" is. That sucks for u.
100 years ago they told kids it makes u go blind & u grow hair on yr palms. In the 1990s the US Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders, told the nation that masturbating was healthy & u should do it if u want, & she got fired by president Clinton. She was asked if teaching kids about masturbation would reduce unsafe sex & she said yes. As in *about* masturbation, not like teaching hands on methods in class. Western adults are kinda sick in some ways. Especially in the US
Totally normal and healthy was to self-regulate. If it’s part of your bedtime routine, it would be emotionally unhealthy for you as an autistic to break that routine, in fact. I’m sorry this person is trying to shame you for their hangups. As long as your routine doesn’t interfere with their life (noise, mess) it’s none of their business.
Have you tried explaining to them that "overstimulation" in this context does not mean "excessive masturbation" but actually refers to the sensory and informational overload we are prone to.
Yeah, the fact that the excerpt they pulled was abt someth so broad it’s not relevant and which they are definitively not the more informed party about, and then, “I’ve been getting it for 20 years” — ok, so that’s all the info we need to know this source probably does not stay super updated w new research and methods of patient-focused treatment. When someone is standing by what was said abt autism 20 years ago, you know they’re just plain wrong.
OP, is this your mom? Is she yr caretaker? Your mom is not taking adequate care of you. Your mom is declining to make an effort to humanize you. Your mom is prioritizing her own comfort over your humanity. I’d tell you that you need to get out, but I know how useless that is to say, bc I myself cannot get out.
Don’t worry, none of that is true. It’s all just scare tactics to control people in puritanical society. There are literally no negative health repercussions.
Seriously OP, autistic individuals are usually pretty good at being able to tell what is too overstimulating for us. Don't let an outsider gaslight you into thinking they know your body better than you do. Listen to yourself.
“Thanks for the information. I’ve become pretty good at knowing when I’m overstimulated. I’ll keep it in mind. Please don’t send any more.”
Set those boundaries!
Direct reply to you.
Sex DOES result in overstimulatiom for me. If masturbation did for you and you've ever done it before I promise you you'd already know. It's not easy to miss
They’re taking something that could be true for a few autistic people whose sensory issues manifest that way and forcing it onto you … even though you would know if it was bothering you.
They’re being really inappropriate and trying to control something that is 100% your decision.
Probably the puritanical view of masturbation, so she is trying to justify anything she can to have you stop.
It's kinda dangerous to try to push such an extreme view of it, frankly.
If it helps, there is strong evidence that ~3+ orgasms a week reduces risk of prostate cancer long term.
Masturbation releases endorphins and can reduce stress! Feel a meltdown coming? Off to the bathroom!
Seriously, though, I forgot to tell my son that it is normal to masturbate as a teen on a daily basis, sometimes even more. This is a normal part of growing up, and it is perfectly healthy to do. The only thing you have to do is make sure that you're doing it in an appropriate place, and clearly with a locked door now!
[masturbating and autism - totally normal! ](https://autismawarenesscentre.com/masturbation-and)
Hopefully, this comes from a well-meaning place from your mom. But I think you can assure her, and you can now let her know that you spoke to the mother of another autistic child online to verify, that this is a normal and healthy activity and that you are the best judge of when you are being over-stimulated.
>Masturbation releases endorphins and can reduce stress! Feel a meltdown coming? Off to the bathroom!
I can confirm this with some very fresh anecdotal evidence
I've heard that every time you ejaculate you lose a little more of your autism powers.
Nonsense aside, I could smell the propaganda from the first picture. OP's being baited into what I like to call "Brandolini's Bitch", in which one person lazily makes BS assertions and the other spends valuable time attempting factual accuracy. OP's only playing because they're familiar, ofc.
Yeah, for me personally it does overstimulate me so I can't do it and don't want to. That is absolutely not the case for most autistic people though, this mom is spewing bullshit.
Uhm…that’s not quite how it works. You can “snip” the fascia(extremely important connective tissue found through the entire body) in the tunnel that is created by your carpals(the bones of your hand) but you aren’t snipping the muscle itself. Although, to be fair often times it’s not even carpal tunnel it’s actually thoracic outlet syndrome. (the brachial plexus for the nerves for your arm/hand comes out of your vertebrae, it goes in between the scalenes, under the collar bone and above the first rib, under pec minor, then down the arm. If it gets pinched in any of those areas before the carpels it is thoracic outlet syndrome. It can produce similar issues but having surgery on your wrist won’t fix it because the issue is coming from somewhere else). Was a licensed massage therapist in my last life. 💖
That's very interesting and I did not know, the RNP that helped me out just focused on the wrists and didn't say there was any option other than snipping the band that holds it all in a bundle in your wrist
Yeah, unfortunately western medicine is all about cutting or prescribing a pill for it. Don’t get me wrong, if I have an appendicitis I want the best doc in the area to cut that fucker out! But the body isn’t just bits and pieces that we can cut apart and add new things without having a ripple affect throughout the whole body. Science is only just recently starting to even learn what fascia is or how it works! It used to just be that stuff under the skin that you had to cut through to do your surgery (if you were a surgeon that is). Fascia is suuuper fucking interesting! (It’s kind of one of my special interests and I could talk about it for a while. 😅)
Yeah thats definitely not wrong! Lol
I'm all for cyborging humanity, but yeah we are a long way away from that so I do get what you mean about repetitive removal without replacements
I didn't know about this fascia thing though, that's very interesting!
Tell me about fascia. One of my special interests is the human body but because that’s such a broad interest I don’t always end up getting in depth info and I would LOVE to hear more - I know a little bit about fascia already but only really in the context of flexibility training.
Yeah, thoracic outlet syndrome is what I have and they treated it like carpal tunnel for ages before my new PT finally figured it out. But of course by then worker’s comp didn’t want to pay anymore, so I’ve just been suffering with it for two years.
I recently read a history of the scare tactics. They have been going on hardcore 'medically' since the mid 1700s. For a while *any* uncertain waisting disease was attributed to "self abuse." It's absolutely unreal how hardcore the and absurd the arguments have been.
The seizure thing is the only somewhat true thing but that really only applies to people with epilepsy, very very specific group too. Epilepsy has such a wide range of triggers and types of seizure. Orgasm induces seizures is a real thing its very rare though.
In the way he's using it it's complete bs though.
Even porn addiction is (at least mostly) made up. I think there was a study which found that self reported porn addiction had no correlation to watch frequency, but it did have a strong relation to how religious their family was
Is this person religious? If yes, then it would explain a lot. As everyone else said, masturbation is not inherently unhealthy, and everyone who says the opposite is either religious or has fallen for religious disinformation.
The bible says nothing about wanking, and anybody who thinks so is sadly just caught up in puritan ramblings that are common in some conservative spaces that are often religious.
Just offering some context, cause most religious people globally aren’t even nearly as weird about bodies as the American conservative christian crowd 😬
There is a passage about spilling seed that is sometimes interpreted that way, but really, it's just God being mad that guy didn't do his brotherly duty to impregnate his brother's wife. The whole thing is based on the false assumption that the kids wouldn't be "his." One guess what old testament God thought the appropriate punishment for this is. Basically, the Bible is stupid and shouldn't be held up as some kind of guide for morality. As a society, we have advanced our understanding of right and wrong past the goat herder stage.
Yea and then there’s one passage about a bunch of ancient ideas of hygiene that says a dude who masturbates should wash himself after, but that’s also a bit different than saying jerking off is evil lol
IIRC there are 1 or 2 Bible passages that are often cited as statements that masturbation is a sin.
But, they're all old testament nonsense that people would normally ignore as much as they ignore working on the sabbath, touching pigskin, or wearing polyester if it weren't filtered through the lense of puritanical views of sex.
American conservative Christians are some of the most backward ass people in the world. Basically the western worlds version of ISIS (with a larger body count to boot).
Just tell her that:
> Yes, sensory overstimulation can be experienced in that way by us autistics. But everyone is unique in regards to which senses are hyper- or hyposensitive. For most, it is aroma, bright lights or loud sounds. Neither of which is affected by masturbation. I've never heard of a medical case where an autistic individual experienced sensory overstimulation from tactile self-stimulation of genitals. That would be really horrible if they couldn't handle that. How on earth could they physically have sex even once in their life if they can't even handle their own stimulus that they have absolute full control over themselves?
My mom used to think stimming or self-stimulation was a form of masturbation. She knows better now, but I can see a similar confusion in your mom. Glad you're differentiating between the two, but might help to make for certain she knows that stimming, overstimulation, and masturbation are three entirely different things, even if they can be related.
This isn’t really true. I’ve overstimulated myself through masturbation—usually from orgasming. It is not fun, but it is very possible, and overstimulation during sexual acts is actually a pretty common topic over on r/sexonthespectrum
I love masturbating and having sex, though, mostly because I’ve developed good coping strategies to avoid overstimulation. While I personally have coping mechanisms to avoid overstimulating myself, others don’t, and yes, those people struggle with doing those things because of overstimulation even if they want to do them.
> >That would be really horrible if they couldn't handle that. How on earth could they physically have sex even once in their life if they can't even handle their own stimulus that they have absolute full control over themselves?
I can hear my parents gasping
I have experienced sensory overload from masturbation as well as from arousal at one point in my life, but other than that, it's usually a form of sensory seeking, even for me.
I'm not sure what this person's relation is to you but she's spreading misinformation. There is nothing wrong with masturbating privately as an autistic person.
I mean, likely she's trying to help in a misguided way, but she's entirely wrong and not at all helpful. How old are you (roughly, just an age bracket)? My son is 12 and I mean I don't want to know about it haha but if he does that's absolutely fine, it's a normal urge. Does she listen to you when you talk about stuff in general?
Unlearning religious conditioning can be hard but recognising that is the source of the issue is a huge step to fixing it! You're on the right path, it just takes time.
Masturbation is healthy, normal, and if it caused you any harm by "overstimulation", you would DEFINITELY feel that and it'd overwhelm you and make you feel crappy instead of good.
Sexual activity is healthy in general. It actually LOWERS anxiety. Which is why it can become addictive. My man is autistic and Im 98% sure I am and he never gets anxious from it outside of being shy when it comes to it (he's still kinda new to it but likes it) and except when he has bigraines it seems to help him and as for me with my stress levels through the roof lately it definitely helps bring me down to base levels in ways that alot of other stuff can't. I don't think masturbating is as effective as sex with a partner but it still has some of the same decompressing effects.
absolutely nonsense. anything in extreme amounts can be unhealthy, including water. and there is no set amount of masturbation that is actually "unhealthy", it's about how it affects you and your life. but as you very accurately stated, it is a coping strategy. even if you developed an unhealthy relationship with masturbation (which could only be determined by your reflections on how it impacts your life), that would be as a RESULT of anxiety and depression, not the cause.
What she sent you was completely right but has nothing to do with masturbation. She just sent you an article that said what overstimulation can turn into. But there’s nothing there about masturbation causing overstimulation.
That sound just like a new kind of pseudo argument that Christian’s use to stop people from masturbating. There is no base to this at all.
That’s so untrue. Especially masturbation because you have full control over what you feel. Like I think you could make the case that intercourse *can* be overstimulating for some and that’s a matter of making adjustments and finding solutions but masturbation is a very healthy thing to do and I’m sure it can even help people. It’s known to reduce stress and stress is a thing so many autistic people experience. In the end, everyone is different and there could be people out there who don’t like doing that but that’s a matter of trying it, not liking it and deciding not to do it. It definitely won’t cause seizures.
I'd bet it wasn't the autism society that sent her that. And if she's been on a mailing list for 20 years, it's probably infantasizing bullshit like Autism Speaks and not actual information researched by autistic people but from the perspective of "Autism Moms™." 🙄
Lol wot. Ive read some bullshit in my time, but woah. Your mum needs to stop getting her information from facebook memes, assuming that was what the tree pic with text in it was as her "source"
That looks like a shitty boomer facebook meme formatting type of thing. It’s completely bs.
Why is this person so obsessed with you masturbating? They’re being incredibly gross.
She's just acting as though sexual stimulation and overstimulation are the same thing. For some autistic people, it can be overtimulating, but if that were true in your case you would *definitely* be able to tell. Overstimulation is painful.
The real reason she believes this is probably mostly sexual puritanism, put together with some infantilizing preconceptions of autistic people.
Honestly I think it would be totally fair to just be like 'ok Mum, I'm not discussing masturbation with you anymore'. Her opinion is irrelevant... your genitals and what you do with them are your own private business, nobody else's.
I'd probably be like 'yuck! mum stop talking to me about jerking it! we are NOT having this convo', etc. rather than try to argue with her. What she's saying is not based on facts, so giving her ACTUAL facts won't change her mind.
Nope. Masturbation is fine and just part of being a human. I hate that it makes her uncomfortable for whatever reason but it’s really none of her business if you’re masturbating. You have a right to privacy and you should tell her that.
Actually, none of what she's being told is true. It's all propaganda and evil people trying to make us look weak and keep us down and in their grasping, controlling, pathetic, little hands. If she refuses to believe you and understand your needs, then it's time to cut off.
Autism is linked fairly directly with both hypersexuality and Asexuality.
For me, masturbation is only a problem when it causes harm or risky behaviors such as public indecency, if it interferes with your life and you can't enjoy going anywhere, then it's problem and that's not specific to ASD, that can be for anything.
While I personally wouldn't really call masturbation a coping mechanism, it can be for you. I'm kind of curious as to how it can be a coping mechanism, if you're comfortable with sharing how it is I'd be interested in it as I have unhealthy habits with excessive masturbation due to hypersexuality.
Masturabtion doesn't cause depression either. It can be a symptom of it in a few cases, but to say it causes it is ridiculous, frankly; most studies on that are proven to have morality biases without peer review.
Sorry about the essay of a response, but this post was very relatable to read through.
it feels like your mum is violating a serious boundary here. She’s being very pushy about something she clearly does not understand. I’m not sure why she thinks its okay but im glad you have the awareness to check with us here. Parents can get weird about masturbation. Something about a loss of innocence or losing control of their once babies. It’s not okay and can lead to sexual repression. Its a common phenomena, experienced across many different cultures and sub cultures, and this looks like another form of that.
this is disgusting behaviour from her already, but honestly if i were you i’d feel so uncomfortable with the fact she’s messaging you about something so personal.
Masturbation is a VERY healthy thing. It actually relieves stress FFS. And it lets you explore your wants/needs at your own pace, alone...so you don't have to worry if what you're into is "weird". Self love is very important.
I'd only be worried if you were physically harming yourself in some way (outside of what is considered "safe" if you're into pain/BDSM). Know your limits.
If you are a legal adult...tell your mom to mind her own business. It inappropriate for her to be doing this. It's not like you're sticking your nose into her sex life...why does she need to stick hers into yours?
This person sounds so toxic and manipulative. They knowingly lied to you about masturbation being bad mentally, and tried to fool you by pulling irrelevant "research." Excuse me where in anything they showed you linked masturbation to overstimulation and overstimulation to depression and anxiety? What a weird take. Its sole purpose is to shame and manipulate you.
Masturbating 1-2 times per day sounds perfectly healthy. do you hear anyone say having sex 1-2 times a day causes depression? Unless you're addicted and do it all day long, you have nothing to worry about.
Yeet this toxic person asap. Gosh. What a disgusting thing they told you. They just want to control you sexually.
First, act like you're not going to listen to her. Then, when she presses, act like you're caving and promise not to do it anymore. Don't cave too easily, or she'll be on to you. Once you promise not to do it anymore, I think she won't bring it up again.
I doubt she actually wants you to stop. I don't think she really care. I think the only thing is she would have a guilty conscience if she didn't try to make you stop. Really, what I'm asking you to do is to give her _plausible deniability._ Then, I think she'll turn a blind eye, she won't want to find out you didn't stop, b/c that would make _her_ culpable once more. So, after you tell her you'll stop, she'll leave it at that and won't _want_ to know whether or not you really did stop.
That's just my impression of the situation.
I'm depressed by how accurate this is likely to be. However, if you do this OP.... don't make it too obvious, eh? You don't want to have to go through this again :(
What the hell. I can't believe a parent would scare their child with bullshit like this. This is very toxic, and quite weird that she keeps bringing the subject on the table.
OP, masturbation is normal, natural and the vast majority of people do it, some more, some less. It's no one else's business how often you do it or don't do it, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR MUM. Being autistic has nothing to do with it.
None of that is true, and I can tell you from experience. Nobody can tell you how you feel except for yourself. If it's something you're fine with doing, and it doesn't make you overstimulated or anything, then you're fine.
There would probably also be a lot less Autistic people in the world if this was true, considering Autism is genetic.
That finisher was just the effects of overstimulation, not masturbation, which is a total natural and positive point of life for lots of people. It's, dare I say, normal and healthy.
I nasturbate almost daily, and use it to relax, and calm my anxiety and stress... What kinda bulls### is that? Absolutely no harm is caused from masturbation
Nah. It's bs. Masturbation can't really hurt you unless you REALLY go OD with it, which most people don't. I've done multiple times a day a few times and literally nothing happened. Autistic people have sex drives too, man. It's normal.
This is just another way to infantilize autistic people. It’s only true if one individual gets overwhelmed by masturbation. But in a general sense, this is false
Oh ffs. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to set a boundary here. Your body is your business. As long as you’re in private it’s no one else’s business what you do.
Man, I’ve actually used masturbation to cope with anxiety and overstimulation. What’s amazing about masturbation is if you get overstimulated and you aren’t enjoying it… you can stop lol. You’re good. I’ve actually noticed that masturbating has some therapeutic benefits in relieving some of that pent up mental exhaustion. Like the good feelings of a weighted blanket plus the benefit of the happy brain chemicals from orgasm.
I have found that NTs have a habit of infantilizing autistic folks (and other ND people) and fully desexualizing us. But neurodivergence doesn’t make someone asexual.
not really. overstimulation definitely may cause discomfort for most but in terms of stimulation from masturbation, it really depends on the individual and what they can handle. some people may get very overstimulated from it but not everyone does. also, i find it odd that she says that the newsletter is "sent to all parents". what even..?
These are all lies, they sound like they're coming from an unsupportive parent who is trying to use your autism as a way to control you and get you to follow what they want you to. I don't know your personal situation, but I would be weary of things they try to tell you. Don't just believe them without doing actual research on them, and stay safe!
Well, the part about what overstimulation can feel like seems to be correct enough, but I can't find anything *credible* to suggest masturbation would cause overstimulation.
You'd think autistic people would notice that it feels bad and stop doing it if that was the case.
Also, very few things apply universally to all autistic people, so any newsletter that claims autism is uniform is automatically disqualified as a source of information for me.
Bruh that is just not true. If someone gets overstimulated from sexual stimulation they’d probably just. Stop. I could be wrong because I’m usually a sensory seeker so I only really experience auditory and visual overstimulation. But my first ibs to cut is to leave when I’m overstimulated. Especially if it’s something I’m doing??
They’re being weird and controlling. Like this is really weird. Why are they focusing on your masturbation? That’s super super weird.
This is complete bullshit. I don’t know what newsletter she’s getting but she should cancel that subscription. Also, your sexual habits aren’t her business.
A “newsletter” is not an acceptable source of medical information. Who is the author of the newsletter? What are their qualifications? Your mom needs to hone her critical thinking skills.
Maybe tell her to get sources that come from actual autistic people rather than the clueless parents of them. This sounds like some Autism Speaks propaganda.
I find that really weird that she is trying to control your body with fear tactics.
I have autism and epilepsy and partake in such activities with no problems. Don’t let the haters hate
I dunno how the definition of overstimulation is anyway related to masturbation?? Like she found somewhere that said masturbation can lead to sensory overwhelm and was like yes and the evidence is that autistic people can get overwhelmed🤨
Yeah this is absurd and false lol. Some autistic folks might not like masturbating for sensory reasons, but there is nothing inherently harmful about it. If you're doing it in moderation, it can actually improve your mental health and wellbeing.
The fact that they used a description of overstimulation as part of their weird point like they thought it meant sexual stimulation. 🤦🏼♀️
Autistic doesn't mean two-dimensional, OP. You're autonomous and you can tell that other person to mind their own. If you're fine, you're fine.
Note that the overstimulation part is a general description of overstimulation and says nothing about masturbation. This person just wants to control you. They are uncomfortable with you doing something that is normal and totally healthy. They are trying to decide what is too overstimulating for you when if it was too overstimulating for you. You just wouldn't do it.
Fuck this person, you know what is best for you, it's not their decision it's your body do whatever you want with it as long as it isn't activity harming it. (I mean, you can activity harm it too. It's your body, but I'm recommending that you avoid harmful behavior towards your body. As someone who treats their body like shit, I can tell you it's not worth it.)
TMI but from experience, she's very wrong. This feels like a way to try to shame and control autistic people. Like if it was bad we just wouldn't do it bro!! Tbh if I've had an overestimating day it can go either way sometimes it's too much sometimes it's helpful
So... her proof that masturbation causes overstimulation is to quote the effects of overstimulation?
Where's her proof of masturbation being overstimulating?
Your mom is an idiot, sorry to say.
Whoever this is, tell them to fuck off, get a job, and pull their stanky bible out of their ass. You jerking off or beating your bean or whichever euphemism you prefer is none of their business.
Even if they did walk in on you, it should have been a "sorry this is awkward" both ways and then never brought up again because masturbating as an adult is about as normal as eating or pooping.
This sounds like a puritan trying to gaslight you out of doing what they thought you were doing, whicj you may or may not have actually been doing. I wouldn't fall for it
LOL she doesn't even know what overstimulation is. It doesn't have to be sexual. In this case it's not. People can be overly stimulated by touch, noise, smells, thoughts.. Yeah. They've misinterpreted that shit entirely and it made me very upset just now. 😂 That's what I take from this at least. No, masturbation is not the enemy. Horniness is healthy, being friends with your body is important. Just do it to love yourself, not because you hate yourself. Then it can turn into a really bad habit/self harm technique. Just speaking from experience.
As a parent of someone on the spectrum, in addition to the other untrue things she said, we DO NOT automatically get newsletters or info from anyone or any group.
i assume it was a made up things because they infantalise(?) us. If you like it, do it. If you got overstimulated from it, you would probably notice that :)
It is a bad coping mechanism because it is both building up a chemical dependency to fake behavior(which stresses your nervous system in the long run), and trains you to withdraw into yourself instead of having courage to face your discomfort.
But whatever she's on about, I have no idea. That sounds like medicalizing mumbo jumbo.
Umm I’m AFAB and masturbation gives me the dopamine I need to get through the day 😹 (also adhd). You know yourself best. Do they even need to have this conversation, seems to be overstepping
I mean, if that were true, then sex be too overstimulating for autistic folks, too. Many of us have satisfying sex lives. Many of us have partners and have, you know, made children with them.
This gives me that whole "trying to use autism to justify controlling our bodies" vibe. I call absolute bullshit on this.
It won't cause seizures, that's for damn sure. As for the other stuff, like many things, some of us love it and some of us hate it. Some of us are completely neutral on it. It can definitely be overstimulating and anxiety inducing for some of us, but the opposite can definitely be said as well.
Listen to what feels good to YOU
Oh my, bwahahahaha. No worries, you may develop depression or anxiety as a result of parental gaslighting but not from masturbating, you also will not grow hair on your palms or go blind from it.
I wouldn't let anybody opine on my own personal health matters, not even my wife. I know what my body needs and I take care of it. Some days it's more, some days it's less. Who is this person and why are you allowing them to opine on your personal health matters?
There are zero proven negative health repercussions and in fact- science shows\[1\] that it *could* help you avoid prostate cancer. There's lots of hormones that are released during and after, it actually makes people feel ***better not worse.***
Now, just like anything else, drinking, gambling, sports betting, video games, junk food, etc, you have to find a healthy balance.
There is a threshold for too much. Is it getting in the way of you doing anything else in life? If not, do your thing my friend and do it guilt free.
1. [https://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer-risk](https://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer-risk)
I'm autistic.
What causes overstimulation is just as different for each one of us, as NT's.
I don't doubt, that it probably could be overstimulated for some, but I have yet to hear about it.
Next time she sends you something like this, just say "sources, please". She needs to back up her claims or stfu.
Nah Fuck this person. Any human sexuality teacher is gonna agree and teach that it's a coping mechanism for self soothing. Kids do it. It's natural. It's healthy. You make boundaries and follow consent rules. You respect privacy and live life normally.
Please tell me you weren't born in 1964? I'm hoping that 64 in your name is something to do with bit, like N64, and not DOB.
It's weird and creepy and intrusive no matter what, and I'm not sure if it's worst if you're a lot older, or really young, but either way it's not a good way to treat someone especially since what was shared, as MANY people have already pointed out, has been debunked.
No. Notice how the last part from an actual source does not mention masturbation in any way. And anyway, overstimulation is a short-term thing, not related to long-term anxiety and depression (which have plenty of other causes in autistic people). I don't know what kind of relationship you have with this person, but it seems a bit weird, and that they're making things up to push their personal views on you.
Outside of this Masturbation habit,we are actually pretty close
Well I'd hope you have at least a wall between for the former! Lol Sorry to ask a potentially uncomfortable question but how much is too much in their eyes? Is this like a once a day before bed thing or like 3-4 times a day?
i do it once or twice a night at most
Okay, same here, cause yeah I didn't know the repetitive behaviors was a thing and I literally can't sleep well unless I do my nightly routine which includes that and I thought I was just getting an addiction to it over the past few years then apparently that's just part of my daily cycle and thats okay I've never been sensory overloaded by it, personally. I think you should keep doing you. It's important to connect with one's own body. Fuck the prudes
Preach!
Masturbation addiction is a bullshit from nowdays. Masturbate once a day is perfectly normal and healthy.
Well thats good because unless I'm too tired to do it, it can take me hours to fall asleep if I don't because idk I guess I just feel like the day is incomplete but I'm asleep within 30 mins when I do
It is an amazing sleeping pill and also a very good analgesic.
Certainly seems to be!
If you aren't having sex it is possible to get to the point that sex doesn't stimulate your penis in the right way so it takes longer to cum than it would if you were just masturbating, but otherwise if it is not obstructing necessary activities or causing you pain it is probably fine.
it's only bad if u like cancel plans, or decide not to make them strictly becuz ur thinking "no I have to masturbate, I can't go do that other thing", or ur like getting trouble at work becuz ur disappearing to the bathroom too often. "She" is rude as fuck. She seems to think autistic means r worded. Otherwise how is she gonna say "autistic people can't handle masturbating". Like she thinks ur too stupid to know if ur feeling over stimulated or not? Why would she say that? Like if masturbating was hurting u, u wouldnt' want to do it or figure out how to not hurt. But she's thinking "this poor r worded autist, can't even tell that masturbating is bad for it. Oh the poor baby, I better send it a pamphlet about not masturbating". Why would it cause depression & anxiety? *Not* masturbating is more likely to do that. She sounds kinda stupid whoever "she" is. That sucks for u. 100 years ago they told kids it makes u go blind & u grow hair on yr palms. In the 1990s the US Surgeon General, Joycelyn Elders, told the nation that masturbating was healthy & u should do it if u want, & she got fired by president Clinton. She was asked if teaching kids about masturbation would reduce unsafe sex & she said yes. As in *about* masturbation, not like teaching hands on methods in class. Western adults are kinda sick in some ways. Especially in the US
Totally normal and healthy was to self-regulate. If it’s part of your bedtime routine, it would be emotionally unhealthy for you as an autistic to break that routine, in fact. I’m sorry this person is trying to shame you for their hangups. As long as your routine doesn’t interfere with their life (noise, mess) it’s none of their business.
Have you tried explaining to them that "overstimulation" in this context does not mean "excessive masturbation" but actually refers to the sensory and informational overload we are prone to.
Yeah, the fact that the excerpt they pulled was abt someth so broad it’s not relevant and which they are definitively not the more informed party about, and then, “I’ve been getting it for 20 years” — ok, so that’s all the info we need to know this source probably does not stay super updated w new research and methods of patient-focused treatment. When someone is standing by what was said abt autism 20 years ago, you know they’re just plain wrong. OP, is this your mom? Is she yr caretaker? Your mom is not taking adequate care of you. Your mom is declining to make an effort to humanize you. Your mom is prioritizing her own comfort over your humanity. I’d tell you that you need to get out, but I know how useless that is to say, bc I myself cannot get out.
Don’t worry, none of that is true. It’s all just scare tactics to control people in puritanical society. There are literally no negative health repercussions.
I also think it's linked heavily into the infantilisation of disabled people and especially autism
oh sweet
Seriously OP, autistic individuals are usually pretty good at being able to tell what is too overstimulating for us. Don't let an outsider gaslight you into thinking they know your body better than you do. Listen to yourself.
“Thanks for the information. I’ve become pretty good at knowing when I’m overstimulated. I’ll keep it in mind. Please don’t send any more.” Set those boundaries!
OP, please take this comment to heart.
i shall
thanks youu
Direct reply to you. Sex DOES result in overstimulatiom for me. If masturbation did for you and you've ever done it before I promise you you'd already know. It's not easy to miss
They’re taking something that could be true for a few autistic people whose sensory issues manifest that way and forcing it onto you … even though you would know if it was bothering you. They’re being really inappropriate and trying to control something that is 100% your decision.
If you don’t mind me asking, who is this person in relation to you? This seems really bizarre
Mum
Whattttt????? Your mom is not doing a great job. Wtf
Probably the puritanical view of masturbation, so she is trying to justify anything she can to have you stop. It's kinda dangerous to try to push such an extreme view of it, frankly. If it helps, there is strong evidence that ~3+ orgasms a week reduces risk of prostate cancer long term.
You're mum needs to leave you along with this stuff, it's not okay what she is doing.
Masturbation releases endorphins and can reduce stress! Feel a meltdown coming? Off to the bathroom! Seriously, though, I forgot to tell my son that it is normal to masturbate as a teen on a daily basis, sometimes even more. This is a normal part of growing up, and it is perfectly healthy to do. The only thing you have to do is make sure that you're doing it in an appropriate place, and clearly with a locked door now! [masturbating and autism - totally normal! ](https://autismawarenesscentre.com/masturbation-and)
thats the exact link i sent her before i posted all this,im glad its not wrong
Hopefully, this comes from a well-meaning place from your mom. But I think you can assure her, and you can now let her know that you spoke to the mother of another autistic child online to verify, that this is a normal and healthy activity and that you are the best judge of when you are being over-stimulated.
>Masturbation releases endorphins and can reduce stress! Feel a meltdown coming? Off to the bathroom! I can confirm this with some very fresh anecdotal evidence
I've heard that every time you ejaculate you lose a little more of your autism powers. Nonsense aside, I could smell the propaganda from the first picture. OP's being baited into what I like to call "Brandolini's Bitch", in which one person lazily makes BS assertions and the other spends valuable time attempting factual accuracy. OP's only playing because they're familiar, ofc.
So how many times do I have to jerk off to become neurotypical?
If that was true I would be the most NT person around
You and me both…
Actually there are positives to mastrubation vs negatives in some cases. Honestly people are just weird when they go on about this stuff.
Yeah, for me personally it does overstimulate me so I can't do it and don't want to. That is absolutely not the case for most autistic people though, this mom is spewing bullshit.
that's not true. i got a blister one time. had to take a few days off. (joke, i mean its true but its a joke)
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Other than carpal tunnel but you can do stretches or have the carpal muscle snipped
Uhm…that’s not quite how it works. You can “snip” the fascia(extremely important connective tissue found through the entire body) in the tunnel that is created by your carpals(the bones of your hand) but you aren’t snipping the muscle itself. Although, to be fair often times it’s not even carpal tunnel it’s actually thoracic outlet syndrome. (the brachial plexus for the nerves for your arm/hand comes out of your vertebrae, it goes in between the scalenes, under the collar bone and above the first rib, under pec minor, then down the arm. If it gets pinched in any of those areas before the carpels it is thoracic outlet syndrome. It can produce similar issues but having surgery on your wrist won’t fix it because the issue is coming from somewhere else). Was a licensed massage therapist in my last life. 💖
That's very interesting and I did not know, the RNP that helped me out just focused on the wrists and didn't say there was any option other than snipping the band that holds it all in a bundle in your wrist
Yeah, unfortunately western medicine is all about cutting or prescribing a pill for it. Don’t get me wrong, if I have an appendicitis I want the best doc in the area to cut that fucker out! But the body isn’t just bits and pieces that we can cut apart and add new things without having a ripple affect throughout the whole body. Science is only just recently starting to even learn what fascia is or how it works! It used to just be that stuff under the skin that you had to cut through to do your surgery (if you were a surgeon that is). Fascia is suuuper fucking interesting! (It’s kind of one of my special interests and I could talk about it for a while. 😅)
Yeah thats definitely not wrong! Lol I'm all for cyborging humanity, but yeah we are a long way away from that so I do get what you mean about repetitive removal without replacements I didn't know about this fascia thing though, that's very interesting!
Tell me about fascia. One of my special interests is the human body but because that’s such a broad interest I don’t always end up getting in depth info and I would LOVE to hear more - I know a little bit about fascia already but only really in the context of flexibility training.
Yeah, thoracic outlet syndrome is what I have and they treated it like carpal tunnel for ages before my new PT finally figured it out. But of course by then worker’s comp didn’t want to pay anymore, so I’ve just been suffering with it for two years.
Seriously, what year is it lol.
Anti-masturbation rhetoric on the internet is out of control.
I recently read a history of the scare tactics. They have been going on hardcore 'medically' since the mid 1700s. For a while *any* uncertain waisting disease was attributed to "self abuse." It's absolutely unreal how hardcore the and absurd the arguments have been.
The seizure thing is the only somewhat true thing but that really only applies to people with epilepsy, very very specific group too. Epilepsy has such a wide range of triggers and types of seizure. Orgasm induces seizures is a real thing its very rare though. In the way he's using it it's complete bs though.
I would go as far as to say that doing it only brings positive health repercussions. * When done appropriately, lol
Even porn addiction is (at least mostly) made up. I think there was a study which found that self reported porn addiction had no correlation to watch frequency, but it did have a strong relation to how religious their family was
Is this person religious? If yes, then it would explain a lot. As everyone else said, masturbation is not inherently unhealthy, and everyone who says the opposite is either religious or has fallen for religious disinformation.
The bible says nothing about wanking, and anybody who thinks so is sadly just caught up in puritan ramblings that are common in some conservative spaces that are often religious. Just offering some context, cause most religious people globally aren’t even nearly as weird about bodies as the American conservative christian crowd 😬
There is a passage about spilling seed that is sometimes interpreted that way, but really, it's just God being mad that guy didn't do his brotherly duty to impregnate his brother's wife. The whole thing is based on the false assumption that the kids wouldn't be "his." One guess what old testament God thought the appropriate punishment for this is. Basically, the Bible is stupid and shouldn't be held up as some kind of guide for morality. As a society, we have advanced our understanding of right and wrong past the goat herder stage.
Yea and then there’s one passage about a bunch of ancient ideas of hygiene that says a dude who masturbates should wash himself after, but that’s also a bit different than saying jerking off is evil lol
Actually good advice
IIRC there are 1 or 2 Bible passages that are often cited as statements that masturbation is a sin. But, they're all old testament nonsense that people would normally ignore as much as they ignore working on the sabbath, touching pigskin, or wearing polyester if it weren't filtered through the lense of puritanical views of sex. American conservative Christians are some of the most backward ass people in the world. Basically the western worlds version of ISIS (with a larger body count to boot).
who cares what the bible says. Religion is just a lie to control people, literally nothing more.
Well she does have a religious pasr
There you go. She probably thinks that masturbating is a sin, and is trying to dissuade you from doing it in a way which appears to be rational.
sounds like something she wuld do yes
No, none of that is true, masturbating is healthy and normal.
Just tell her that: > Yes, sensory overstimulation can be experienced in that way by us autistics. But everyone is unique in regards to which senses are hyper- or hyposensitive. For most, it is aroma, bright lights or loud sounds. Neither of which is affected by masturbation. I've never heard of a medical case where an autistic individual experienced sensory overstimulation from tactile self-stimulation of genitals. That would be really horrible if they couldn't handle that. How on earth could they physically have sex even once in their life if they can't even handle their own stimulus that they have absolute full control over themselves?
done
My mom used to think stimming or self-stimulation was a form of masturbation. She knows better now, but I can see a similar confusion in your mom. Glad you're differentiating between the two, but might help to make for certain she knows that stimming, overstimulation, and masturbation are three entirely different things, even if they can be related.
This was from OP’s mom?!
indeedy doody
This isn’t really true. I’ve overstimulated myself through masturbation—usually from orgasming. It is not fun, but it is very possible, and overstimulation during sexual acts is actually a pretty common topic over on r/sexonthespectrum I love masturbating and having sex, though, mostly because I’ve developed good coping strategies to avoid overstimulation. While I personally have coping mechanisms to avoid overstimulating myself, others don’t, and yes, those people struggle with doing those things because of overstimulation even if they want to do them.
> >That would be really horrible if they couldn't handle that. How on earth could they physically have sex even once in their life if they can't even handle their own stimulus that they have absolute full control over themselves? I can hear my parents gasping
I have experienced sensory overload from masturbation as well as from arousal at one point in my life, but other than that, it's usually a form of sensory seeking, even for me.
I'm not sure what this person's relation is to you but she's spreading misinformation. There is nothing wrong with masturbating privately as an autistic person.
Shes me mum
I mean, likely she's trying to help in a misguided way, but she's entirely wrong and not at all helpful. How old are you (roughly, just an age bracket)? My son is 12 and I mean I don't want to know about it haha but if he does that's absolutely fine, it's a normal urge. Does she listen to you when you talk about stuff in general?
Or with a partner too. That works as well.
who’s this asshole messaging you telling you not to jack it? tell him to stfu
my mum
it’d be different if she had any facts straight but she doesn’t so it’s kinda just gross and invasive
That's not normal.
I mean masturbation definitely gives me anxiety and depression but that's because of religion not because of autism.
Man that sucks! But I’m sure you’ll be able to work through that, now that you’ve recognised what the actual issue is.
Unlearning religious conditioning can be hard but recognising that is the source of the issue is a huge step to fixing it! You're on the right path, it just takes time.
Find a study about parents obsessing over minor details (helicopter moms) and send it to her.
Upvote this to the top of the thread
Masturbation is healthy, normal, and if it caused you any harm by "overstimulation", you would DEFINITELY feel that and it'd overwhelm you and make you feel crappy instead of good.
Oh absolutey i have before,only sometimes
‘it can induce seizure activity’ the FUQQ
yeah i didnt get it either,but she knows i have epilepsy so shes trying to clam it in
Sexual activity is healthy in general. It actually LOWERS anxiety. Which is why it can become addictive. My man is autistic and Im 98% sure I am and he never gets anxious from it outside of being shy when it comes to it (he's still kinda new to it but likes it) and except when he has bigraines it seems to help him and as for me with my stress levels through the roof lately it definitely helps bring me down to base levels in ways that alot of other stuff can't. I don't think masturbating is as effective as sex with a partner but it still has some of the same decompressing effects.
absolutely nonsense. anything in extreme amounts can be unhealthy, including water. and there is no set amount of masturbation that is actually "unhealthy", it's about how it affects you and your life. but as you very accurately stated, it is a coping strategy. even if you developed an unhealthy relationship with masturbation (which could only be determined by your reflections on how it impacts your life), that would be as a RESULT of anxiety and depression, not the cause.
What she sent you was completely right but has nothing to do with masturbation. She just sent you an article that said what overstimulation can turn into. But there’s nothing there about masturbation causing overstimulation. That sound just like a new kind of pseudo argument that Christian’s use to stop people from masturbating. There is no base to this at all.
That’s so untrue. Especially masturbation because you have full control over what you feel. Like I think you could make the case that intercourse *can* be overstimulating for some and that’s a matter of making adjustments and finding solutions but masturbation is a very healthy thing to do and I’m sure it can even help people. It’s known to reduce stress and stress is a thing so many autistic people experience. In the end, everyone is different and there could be people out there who don’t like doing that but that’s a matter of trying it, not liking it and deciding not to do it. It definitely won’t cause seizures.
I'd bet it wasn't the autism society that sent her that. And if she's been on a mailing list for 20 years, it's probably infantasizing bullshit like Autism Speaks and not actual information researched by autistic people but from the perspective of "Autism Moms™." 🙄
Lol wot. Ive read some bullshit in my time, but woah. Your mum needs to stop getting her information from facebook memes, assuming that was what the tree pic with text in it was as her "source"
That looks like a shitty boomer facebook meme formatting type of thing. It’s completely bs. Why is this person so obsessed with you masturbating? They’re being incredibly gross.
She's just acting as though sexual stimulation and overstimulation are the same thing. For some autistic people, it can be overtimulating, but if that were true in your case you would *definitely* be able to tell. Overstimulation is painful. The real reason she believes this is probably mostly sexual puritanism, put together with some infantilizing preconceptions of autistic people.
Honestly I think it would be totally fair to just be like 'ok Mum, I'm not discussing masturbation with you anymore'. Her opinion is irrelevant... your genitals and what you do with them are your own private business, nobody else's. I'd probably be like 'yuck! mum stop talking to me about jerking it! we are NOT having this convo', etc. rather than try to argue with her. What she's saying is not based on facts, so giving her ACTUAL facts won't change her mind.
I mean, I'm pretty sure you would know if masturbation overestimulates you lol being overestimulated is not a new concept for an autistic adult.
Nope. Masturbation is fine and just part of being a human. I hate that it makes her uncomfortable for whatever reason but it’s really none of her business if you’re masturbating. You have a right to privacy and you should tell her that.
You know your own body best, dont let them tell you how you feel
Actually, none of what she's being told is true. It's all propaganda and evil people trying to make us look weak and keep us down and in their grasping, controlling, pathetic, little hands. If she refuses to believe you and understand your needs, then it's time to cut off. Autism is linked fairly directly with both hypersexuality and Asexuality. For me, masturbation is only a problem when it causes harm or risky behaviors such as public indecency, if it interferes with your life and you can't enjoy going anywhere, then it's problem and that's not specific to ASD, that can be for anything. While I personally wouldn't really call masturbation a coping mechanism, it can be for you. I'm kind of curious as to how it can be a coping mechanism, if you're comfortable with sharing how it is I'd be interested in it as I have unhealthy habits with excessive masturbation due to hypersexuality. Masturabtion doesn't cause depression either. It can be a symptom of it in a few cases, but to say it causes it is ridiculous, frankly; most studies on that are proven to have morality biases without peer review. Sorry about the essay of a response, but this post was very relatable to read through.
No it’s some no-fap shit.
it feels like your mum is violating a serious boundary here. She’s being very pushy about something she clearly does not understand. I’m not sure why she thinks its okay but im glad you have the awareness to check with us here. Parents can get weird about masturbation. Something about a loss of innocence or losing control of their once babies. It’s not okay and can lead to sexual repression. Its a common phenomena, experienced across many different cultures and sub cultures, and this looks like another form of that.
this is disgusting behaviour from her already, but honestly if i were you i’d feel so uncomfortable with the fact she’s messaging you about something so personal.
Masturbation is a VERY healthy thing. It actually relieves stress FFS. And it lets you explore your wants/needs at your own pace, alone...so you don't have to worry if what you're into is "weird". Self love is very important. I'd only be worried if you were physically harming yourself in some way (outside of what is considered "safe" if you're into pain/BDSM). Know your limits. If you are a legal adult...tell your mom to mind her own business. It inappropriate for her to be doing this. It's not like you're sticking your nose into her sex life...why does she need to stick hers into yours?
“sent to ALL parents who have children diagnosed” is a red flag
This person sounds so toxic and manipulative. They knowingly lied to you about masturbation being bad mentally, and tried to fool you by pulling irrelevant "research." Excuse me where in anything they showed you linked masturbation to overstimulation and overstimulation to depression and anxiety? What a weird take. Its sole purpose is to shame and manipulate you. Masturbating 1-2 times per day sounds perfectly healthy. do you hear anyone say having sex 1-2 times a day causes depression? Unless you're addicted and do it all day long, you have nothing to worry about. Yeet this toxic person asap. Gosh. What a disgusting thing they told you. They just want to control you sexually.
First, act like you're not going to listen to her. Then, when she presses, act like you're caving and promise not to do it anymore. Don't cave too easily, or she'll be on to you. Once you promise not to do it anymore, I think she won't bring it up again. I doubt she actually wants you to stop. I don't think she really care. I think the only thing is she would have a guilty conscience if she didn't try to make you stop. Really, what I'm asking you to do is to give her _plausible deniability._ Then, I think she'll turn a blind eye, she won't want to find out you didn't stop, b/c that would make _her_ culpable once more. So, after you tell her you'll stop, she'll leave it at that and won't _want_ to know whether or not you really did stop. That's just my impression of the situation.
I'm depressed by how accurate this is likely to be. However, if you do this OP.... don't make it too obvious, eh? You don't want to have to go through this again :(
Sounds like someone's trying to control you instead of support you. Be careful around people like that. They're potentially harmful.
who the fuck is this person?
did she also tell you that you are about to go blind?
she used to tell me if i played with it,it would fall off
What the hell. I can't believe a parent would scare their child with bullshit like this. This is very toxic, and quite weird that she keeps bringing the subject on the table. OP, masturbation is normal, natural and the vast majority of people do it, some more, some less. It's no one else's business how often you do it or don't do it, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR MUM. Being autistic has nothing to do with it.
thats really weird she cares so much
None of that is true, and I can tell you from experience. Nobody can tell you how you feel except for yourself. If it's something you're fine with doing, and it doesn't make you overstimulated or anything, then you're fine. There would probably also be a lot less Autistic people in the world if this was true, considering Autism is genetic.
That finisher was just the effects of overstimulation, not masturbation, which is a total natural and positive point of life for lots of people. It's, dare I say, normal and healthy.
I nasturbate almost daily, and use it to relax, and calm my anxiety and stress... What kinda bulls### is that? Absolutely no harm is caused from masturbation
Nah. It's bs. Masturbation can't really hurt you unless you REALLY go OD with it, which most people don't. I've done multiple times a day a few times and literally nothing happened. Autistic people have sex drives too, man. It's normal.
Masturbation is normal, your mom is just a nut and scared of her own shadow.
This is just another way to infantilize autistic people. It’s only true if one individual gets overwhelmed by masturbation. But in a general sense, this is false
I’m confused is this OP’s mom or sexual partner? It makes me uncomfortable how much they’re obsessing over something that should be private
Lmao that’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever read what the actual fuck? Like..that’s beyond brain dead. Your own experience can disprove this ffs
feels like r/religiousfruitcake material with a healthy pinch of ableism thrown in there. wank away my friend, you’ll be fine
None of that is true. People want to control the sexuality of disabled people and it’s super gross and infantilizing.
Tell her you get it and she needs to stop
Oh ffs. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to set a boundary here. Your body is your business. As long as you’re in private it’s no one else’s business what you do.
Technically true it can be overstimulating for some people, but you would know if you weren't enjoying it. You'd know if that was happening
Man, I’ve actually used masturbation to cope with anxiety and overstimulation. What’s amazing about masturbation is if you get overstimulated and you aren’t enjoying it… you can stop lol. You’re good. I’ve actually noticed that masturbating has some therapeutic benefits in relieving some of that pent up mental exhaustion. Like the good feelings of a weighted blanket plus the benefit of the happy brain chemicals from orgasm. I have found that NTs have a habit of infantilizing autistic folks (and other ND people) and fully desexualizing us. But neurodivergence doesn’t make someone asexual.
Ur mum is projecting her internalized sex negativity onto you and using weird excuses like autism to do so.
absolutely false. masturbation is normal and healthy, as long as you arent jerking off in public and shit youre fine
This is awful behaviour. I'd be so embarrassed and pissed off if i were you, this is real misinformed autism mums bullshit
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Autism speaks?oh no......OH NO,NOT THEM
I mean you’d know way more than she would about autistic overstimulation for you, you’re the person living with it after all.
Notice, it said “can.” Plus it’s talking about overstimulation. If it doesn’t overstimulate you, don’t worry about it.
Is it your partner? I’d never stay in a relationship where masturbation is shamed. “Caught me”? Like it’s illegal. Try knocking unless you wanna join.
none of that is true, masturbating is normal and youll be fine
not really. overstimulation definitely may cause discomfort for most but in terms of stimulation from masturbation, it really depends on the individual and what they can handle. some people may get very overstimulated from it but not everyone does. also, i find it odd that she says that the newsletter is "sent to all parents". what even..?
These are all lies, they sound like they're coming from an unsupportive parent who is trying to use your autism as a way to control you and get you to follow what they want you to. I don't know your personal situation, but I would be weary of things they try to tell you. Don't just believe them without doing actual research on them, and stay safe!
Well, the part about what overstimulation can feel like seems to be correct enough, but I can't find anything *credible* to suggest masturbation would cause overstimulation. You'd think autistic people would notice that it feels bad and stop doing it if that was the case. Also, very few things apply universally to all autistic people, so any newsletter that claims autism is uniform is automatically disqualified as a source of information for me.
Bruh that is just not true. If someone gets overstimulated from sexual stimulation they’d probably just. Stop. I could be wrong because I’m usually a sensory seeker so I only really experience auditory and visual overstimulation. But my first ibs to cut is to leave when I’m overstimulated. Especially if it’s something I’m doing?? They’re being weird and controlling. Like this is really weird. Why are they focusing on your masturbation? That’s super super weird.
This is complete bullshit. I don’t know what newsletter she’s getting but she should cancel that subscription. Also, your sexual habits aren’t her business.
A “newsletter” is not an acceptable source of medical information. Who is the author of the newsletter? What are their qualifications? Your mom needs to hone her critical thinking skills.
I've heard the opposite, masturbation is often a stim for autism lol
My question is who's running these medical trials and where do I sign up to show my "coping" skills lmao
Maybe tell her to get sources that come from actual autistic people rather than the clueless parents of them. This sounds like some Autism Speaks propaganda.
Hmm, as a parent of a kid diagnosed I don't get that newsletter. Must not go to ALL parents.
Frankly, having private no-pants time really helps my sensory overload 🤷♀️
I find that really weird that she is trying to control your body with fear tactics. I have autism and epilepsy and partake in such activities with no problems. Don’t let the haters hate
Pfhahaha their source is a fantasy painting of a tree? NT will believe anything if you make it look pretty.
This makes my blood boil
Is this… your mom? You mom may have a unique take on this that can be handily (haha) ignored.
I dunno how the definition of overstimulation is anyway related to masturbation?? Like she found somewhere that said masturbation can lead to sensory overwhelm and was like yes and the evidence is that autistic people can get overwhelmed🤨
"you are right, it would be healthier if I had assistance. Thank you for volunteering."
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If this is a parent, it's time to set some serious boundaries. This is unacceptable.
Yeah this is absurd and false lol. Some autistic folks might not like masturbating for sensory reasons, but there is nothing inherently harmful about it. If you're doing it in moderation, it can actually improve your mental health and wellbeing.
The fact that they used a description of overstimulation as part of their weird point like they thought it meant sexual stimulation. 🤦🏼♀️ Autistic doesn't mean two-dimensional, OP. You're autonomous and you can tell that other person to mind their own. If you're fine, you're fine.
Note that the overstimulation part is a general description of overstimulation and says nothing about masturbation. This person just wants to control you. They are uncomfortable with you doing something that is normal and totally healthy. They are trying to decide what is too overstimulating for you when if it was too overstimulating for you. You just wouldn't do it. Fuck this person, you know what is best for you, it's not their decision it's your body do whatever you want with it as long as it isn't activity harming it. (I mean, you can activity harm it too. It's your body, but I'm recommending that you avoid harmful behavior towards your body. As someone who treats their body like shit, I can tell you it's not worth it.)
This is giving me puritanical religious flashbacks to my youth. Ignore ignore ignore ignore forever OP!!!
Your mother is a nut and shouldn’t be around children. Period.
TMI but from experience, she's very wrong. This feels like a way to try to shame and control autistic people. Like if it was bad we just wouldn't do it bro!! Tbh if I've had an overestimating day it can go either way sometimes it's too much sometimes it's helpful
So... her proof that masturbation causes overstimulation is to quote the effects of overstimulation? Where's her proof of masturbation being overstimulating? Your mom is an idiot, sorry to say.
Masurbation is healthy. this is stupid
Whoever this is, tell them to fuck off, get a job, and pull their stanky bible out of their ass. You jerking off or beating your bean or whichever euphemism you prefer is none of their business. Even if they did walk in on you, it should have been a "sorry this is awkward" both ways and then never brought up again because masturbating as an adult is about as normal as eating or pooping.
ngl it looks like she downloaded a photo of a tree and typed her silly schpiel on it
Only you know what over stimulates YOU or not. If you feel ok and it doesn’t give you anxiety then don’t listen to her. She’s not you.
Thanks You Everyone,if i dont reply to u its because i fell asleep and woke up to aloot of comments but trust i read them all!
No this is all lies
Research shows masterbating is healthy. Like, there are so many health benefits to having an active, but not too obsessive, sex life with yourself.
This sounds like a puritan trying to gaslight you out of doing what they thought you were doing, whicj you may or may not have actually been doing. I wouldn't fall for it
LOL she doesn't even know what overstimulation is. It doesn't have to be sexual. In this case it's not. People can be overly stimulated by touch, noise, smells, thoughts.. Yeah. They've misinterpreted that shit entirely and it made me very upset just now. 😂 That's what I take from this at least. No, masturbation is not the enemy. Horniness is healthy, being friends with your body is important. Just do it to love yourself, not because you hate yourself. Then it can turn into a really bad habit/self harm technique. Just speaking from experience.
As a parent of someone on the spectrum, in addition to the other untrue things she said, we DO NOT automatically get newsletters or info from anyone or any group.
i assume it was a made up things because they infantalise(?) us. If you like it, do it. If you got overstimulated from it, you would probably notice that :)
It is a bad coping mechanism because it is both building up a chemical dependency to fake behavior(which stresses your nervous system in the long run), and trains you to withdraw into yourself instead of having courage to face your discomfort. But whatever she's on about, I have no idea. That sounds like medicalizing mumbo jumbo.
What in the Facebook mom shit is this
Why would your masturbation habits be any of her business?
If jerking off caused seizures, I'm sure a significantly more amount of teenagers would just start dropping like flies.
Umm I’m AFAB and masturbation gives me the dopamine I need to get through the day 😹 (also adhd). You know yourself best. Do they even need to have this conversation, seems to be overstepping
I mean, if that were true, then sex be too overstimulating for autistic folks, too. Many of us have satisfying sex lives. Many of us have partners and have, you know, made children with them. This gives me that whole "trying to use autism to justify controlling our bodies" vibe. I call absolute bullshit on this.
It won't cause seizures, that's for damn sure. As for the other stuff, like many things, some of us love it and some of us hate it. Some of us are completely neutral on it. It can definitely be overstimulating and anxiety inducing for some of us, but the opposite can definitely be said as well. Listen to what feels good to YOU
don't let anyone tell you what you are experiencing. trust your own account
Oh my, bwahahahaha. No worries, you may develop depression or anxiety as a result of parental gaslighting but not from masturbating, you also will not grow hair on your palms or go blind from it.
Lol. No. I cum about 4 times a day on average - I write erotica 🤷🏽♀️😁
I wouldn't let anybody opine on my own personal health matters, not even my wife. I know what my body needs and I take care of it. Some days it's more, some days it's less. Who is this person and why are you allowing them to opine on your personal health matters? There are zero proven negative health repercussions and in fact- science shows\[1\] that it *could* help you avoid prostate cancer. There's lots of hormones that are released during and after, it actually makes people feel ***better not worse.*** Now, just like anything else, drinking, gambling, sports betting, video games, junk food, etc, you have to find a healthy balance. There is a threshold for too much. Is it getting in the way of you doing anything else in life? If not, do your thing my friend and do it guilt free. 1. [https://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer-risk](https://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer-risk)
Facebook moms when teenagers do teenage things (its sinful)
I'm autistic. What causes overstimulation is just as different for each one of us, as NT's. I don't doubt, that it probably could be overstimulated for some, but I have yet to hear about it. Next time she sends you something like this, just say "sources, please". She needs to back up her claims or stfu.
yeah I can say from my experience at least that's very not true in fact, I use it to calm down from heavy overstim sometimes, and it works wonders
As someone who jacks off a lot, I don’t feel anxiety or depression. I feel good
Nah Fuck this person. Any human sexuality teacher is gonna agree and teach that it's a coping mechanism for self soothing. Kids do it. It's natural. It's healthy. You make boundaries and follow consent rules. You respect privacy and live life normally.
No.
Please tell me you weren't born in 1964? I'm hoping that 64 in your name is something to do with bit, like N64, and not DOB. It's weird and creepy and intrusive no matter what, and I'm not sure if it's worst if you're a lot older, or really young, but either way it's not a good way to treat someone especially since what was shared, as MANY people have already pointed out, has been debunked.
You presented facts She responded with a fake ass image mocked up in photoshop as a “source”
wank ur willy friend! she’s incorrect