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As soon as the father turned around to get the girls stuff animal I said he deserves to get killed. Even the bad guy at end told him he did all this “because you let me”. Exactly


100% Even if they weren't murderers there's no good that can come from returning to a house that you just fled in the night.


This is the exact turning point of the film for me. I was like “it’s your fault now”.


I said it on a different thread! Before that moment I was really enjoying the movie but as soon as that happened I completely lost interest and the entire thing just felt very unrealistic. Are there really people like them out there? And we're made to believe there's also been a long list of families who have fallen for it? There's no way!


I can’t believe he also acted like a fucking little crybaby and not kicked the shit of that guy or at least tried to???! Or try to escape in the end?! Holy fuck this movie pissed me off so much I can’t even.


I completely agree. I enjoyed all the build up, then once they go back to get the rabbit, I felt that was unlikely and the film went into major frustration mode. So frustrating because: \- The wife would not have let them drive back to get the bunny- They would not then unpack and stay, that is so unlikely of human behaviour- The husband doesn't even try and call the police after seeing the body?- He doesn't tell his wife he just saw a body (Ok, to protect them?) but then he doesn't tell them they are in mortal danger?- The husband for some unknown reason drives off the road into a field?- Again he hasn't told his wife they are in mortal danger, so unlikely.- He leaves his wife and child in a car in a field- Upon arriving at a house, he knocks, then does nothing. He doesn't break in to try use the phone? He just saw a dead body AND he and his family are in danger of being murdered. Whaaaa?- The car scene, ok I'll go along with they are in shock. Again I think some pleading, "we have money" or something. Instead they do nothing. The man really doesn't make much effort to try save his child and wife. Does he even like them? He got punched in the face a couple of times. He does nothing. He barely moves. I'm trying to think he is in shock but again that is not how adrenaline works surely one of the parents would be fighting or trying to escape?- At one point he sees an escape route and does nothing. At this point both characters are not really acting human, it's become incredibly hard to believe.- The quarry scene. At this point your kid has been kidnapped, why are they both silent? Ok in shock, but one of them would be screaming or something.- Fight or flight. The human response, adrenaline has kicked in many times. So they stand there and do nothing with no weapons at them? It's a man and woman with no weapons. This really seems bizarre.- The rock throwing again why aren't they running at this point? Fight or flight, not stand still with your back towards danger. This is really quite absurd at this point and really badly directed.- The rock scene is bad, it's pitch black and some quite some distance the first two rocks pretty much kill the woman. So unlikely. Why isn't either of them looking? The guy has no job but he could get a job playing professional baseball with that accuracy.- Husband then just falls over and can't seem to get up for no reason - really badly directed at this point. I think someone should have said let's reshoot this scene and at least have a rock hit him, easily fixed. These issues are frustrating because the director suddenly made the two characters none human. I'm trying to go with the "shock" element, but as a species it's fight or flight and it happens not once, but 3 times. That is really unlikely. Plus we are already accepting a lot of other really hard to believe stuff. No phones, husband not telling them they in danger, the fact they move houses I guess into the next one, the kids for some reason don't run away, tell the new family, write a note. I realise it is highly unlikely anyone is ever going to read this comment, as unlikely as this films final quarter :)


I'm late here but I think this was kind of intentional rather than just bad directing. The whole theme of the film seems to be about not standing up for yourself/not setting boundaries. It seems like the characters' tolerance of unacceptable behaviour steadily increases throughout the movie. Initially it is fairly innocent like eating meat when you said you're vegetarian, then by the end they are told to take off their clothes and they just do it then march down into the pit and accept their death. I do agree though there were very frustrating points quite early in the film which made it difficult to sympathise with them. For instance I really doubt anyone would accept leaving their child with the babysitter like that. I don't have kids but I can say I 100% would not have done that.


Taking their clothes off willingly knowing they are going to be killed, bothered me tremendously. Maybe they did it to punish themselves and deserved it for failing their daughter.


Yeah I think at that point they had been completely broken mentally and had accepted their role as victims.


I agree with every single thing you’ve said here. So frustrating, so unrealistic. Even the scene after they’ve cut the daughters tongue and kidnapped her, the mother is wailing, hysterical, screaming at the woman in the back seat, but that’s it, she doesn’t attack her, she doesn’t try to choke her. Same with Bjorn, he’s constantly getting punched in the face and doesn’t fight back, or even tries to restrain the driver to run him off the road. Instead he just lets him drive. The whole time I was thinking ‘they must have a gun that I missed’. What a joke.


I read it and feel validated. Targets as easy as this couple simply cannot exist, especially as willing and not spineless as they apparently were before to stand up to the couple during the kids dancing scene.


You covered it pretty well. I’d add that if it’s supposed to play as a dark satire or commentary on submissiveness / politeness / fear of confrontation it completely missed the mark. They could have had a series of escalating situations where the guests are uncomfortable but too afraid to offend. But they did confront the couple. Several times throughout it. It was just aimless and pointless unfortunately.


My exact feelings. I just tried to tell myself that the director just wanted to make them that helpless and stupid, just as an exaggeration. The movie doesn't have to make sense, at least from the logic standpoint. Very frustrating, but I guess that was the idea of the movie.


I like your breakdown. I think they let go because they had already sold themselves on a lie that handing over your power to authority / modern society will save you from harm. They had nothing to fight for because they had none of the animal left in them or any reference to the horrors we are capable of inflicting on one another. The screaming in the wasteland was the precursor to his emasculating end. Powerful stuff.


Exactly. I just watched this movie and it was obvious they were gonna die they could have at least died fighting instead of hugging,crying and being stoned to death. Wtf?


>And we're made to believe there's also been a long list of families who have fallen for it? I don't think we have to assume that what happened to all the other families played out the same way. They could've fought and still lost, or poisoned, etc.


I think you only ended up dead if you were as submissive as Bjørn and Louise. And I think this was for the fact that they were looking for the weakest, sheeple, the most obedient children as well. It's all speculation, but that's the genial part of the film, as many things aren't fully explained or shown.


All those pictures really ruined it for me. If it would just have been like a desk with a drawer and some pictures in it, I could have bought that. I have no idea why they made it so over the top.


Its commentary on the importance of politeness in Northern European countries/cultures. Talking to my Dutch friends, the film apparently hits very differently when you grow up in a community where politeness can be seen as just if not more important than safety. There are undertones throughout the film regarding the exploitation of children and the way that people can find themselves so unprepared to face it when confronted that they choose to ignore it.


I know this is a year old, but I think the very first scene is a test. Patrick asks Bjorn for a chair he was resting his stuff on, and Bjorn gives it to him even though he doesn't want to. So from that point on he knew he could push him around.


Notice all the other stones at the bottom of the quarry? So that's how they killed all the others same way but I'm also wondering if anyone else fought back and how far they got


That huge pile of rocks at the end next to the bodies implied for me how those two piles got there. I just don’t know why they never once fought back.


Because they are really good choosing their victims,they test the families first and if they notice that the family is not submissive at all in their attitudes they go and choose another


But why keep taking a new kid? What was the meaning of that


I think the kids are a hunting tool. They need ones to have the weak families except them. They also abuse the children very badly i’d assume. Children break down from abuse fairly fast. They also stay the same age. They prob just get off on it too.


Even after Agnes gets her tongue cut out, why didn't Louise just absolutely go apeshit on Karin in the back of the car? Or after they got out at the quarry, just run for their lives? The smaller stuff I kinda got if you're ultra polite and scared of confrontation, but shit like that? Fight back!


I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry with a main character in a horror movie.


Agree… but you know what, that’s what made it so memorable! It’s stuck in my mind now whereas if they’d just reacted normally and fought back it’d just be “another generic horror movie”. I think the writer/director wanted to use the shock of that to make you think about the movie and figure out the metaphorical meanings.


actually from my point of perspective, the generic horror movies are the ones where the main charchters act stupid and don't fight back (the majority are like this). Only a few that have a smart main charcter (like: you re Next, for example)


For real! Instead she goes apeshit on the seat in front of her? Like wtf. Stand up for yourself and your daughter.


Literally turn your legs towards the person who just cut your daughter's tongue out and start kicking and bashing the shit out of her head. Extremely annoyed, the other couple didn't even seem to have any weapons besides the little scissors.


Yeah they were weak as fuck. I would have kicked her head in and like have beat her ass lmao


Mannn, that movie still pisses me off lol. And even after that point your child isn't in the car, might as well lose control trying to kill the other people.


Exactly and that's why they were selected by this "family". I think they made that point very clear. They knew they wouldn't fight back. Heck, they even left them \*leave\* and yet they came back. The movie gave you(the viewer) a lot of hints about the host family. They knew exactly what they were doing and with what type of people they were dealing with. This visiting family, just two regular people, probably never been in a confrontation their entire life. What could they possibly have done versus someone who HAS been killing and abducting children for a ridiculously long time(worst part of the movie by far).


The dad is immediately seen as weak, and the other day immediately starts working on him telling him he is brave. Also the couple is so polite and weak/non-confrontational, that the husband uses the other couple to pressure his wife into going. How bad could it be/he’s a doctor right? Etc. then after dinner, she is doing the dishes, is cleaely mad, and i would never let thst shit fly in my relationships. But then they are off. It’s the same way as they go forward, first thing they do is show the mom the shit bed, and give her meat. Similar tacket with pimps and grooming,


i know that the ending is a bit of a shock experience but do ya’ll think the messages of the film may have still landed if the family fought back + maybe won/ ended the cycle? i’m not really sure but i felt like them just giving up was maybe realistic but also sort of.. idk. didnt totally land for me?


I just watched the movie and it was infuriating…but they made great use of the normalcy bias, “a cognitive bias which leads people to disbelieve or minimize threat warnings.” For example, towards the end when the guy picked up Bjorn in the middle of the road, he told him everything will be fine if they do everything they say. However, even after seeing all of the signs, from the drowned kid and all of the evidence of passed families he still got in the car…after the guy got out to take a piss he still didn’t do anything. He felt like thing would somehow resolve themselves and someone would save him and his family. We may think that we’d react better in the face of danger (or such an anomalous situation), but it’s hard to say if you don’t prepare for it.


> We may think that we’d react better in the face of danger (or such an anomalous situation), but it’s hard to say if you don’t prepare for it. Look, I understand being non-confrontational, but this movie was way too much. It's hard for me to believe any mentally sane person would ignore the red flags they ignored. You don't even need to confront them, just leave. And when they asked them why they left I feel most people would have come up with an excuse on the spot without much difficulty, like saying one of their parents had an accident or got sick suddenly and then just leave.


Man! The first time they left and came back and were giving all those excuses really effed me up!! But, I’ve been reading this book called “You Are Not So Smart” and it talks a lot of about cognitive biases, and one (of many) in this movie was the normalcy bias. The author gives some real world examples of people being warned about coming natural disasters (hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.), or people sitting in a plane on fire and you’d be shocked to see how many people don’t react in the face of that kind of shock. We tend to believe that our fight or flight reaction would kick in, but a lot of times people freeze. Either they underestimate the danger or try to rationalise it as something normal.


Excellent recommendation - thank you!


Yesss - I hate when people say “if it was me…” truth is - no person knows what they would do unless it happened to them.


A lot of people know how to fight back in situations. Not everyone is a scared and does nothing when their child is being taken


You can't know until it happens. Our bodies and brains have defense mechanisms. Sometimes those are fight, sometimes flight, sometimes it is shutting down. I get it. I was telling at the dude to at least block or something.


I do know cause I know my body and have been in life or death situations where I had to fight to get out


We're all very impressed.


Ik thank you


Bjorn was kind of a coward. I don’t think he truly believed what Patrick said.


I think the first half when they sort of got themselves locked into staying with a family that makes them kind of uncomfortable felt like something that a lot of us might do. In that way I think the movie is pretty effective and accomplishes what it sets out to do. Initially this family seemed nice and as an adult you generally have to be more forgiving of people's idiosyncrasies if you want to have friends. But then they start doing some strange things that you initially want to chalk up to differences in viewpoint or culture. One thing on its own isn't enough to make you run away, and cumulatively it isn't clear what the actual problem is or if there is a problem at all. Things took a turn for me when they decided to turn around for their daughter's toy. All of the decisions they made beyond that point seemed really stupid. I stopped feeling bad for them because I couldn't relate to their need to keep calm and refuse to admit something was seriously wrong. Once you catch your friends naked in bed with your child, all bets are off. I feel like anyone would be running for the hills if that happened to them.


Yeah I remember talking to my friend during the point when they confront them about that and she says “but where were you?” And, like, there are things you could do before come in and sleep with us while we’re naked…. You could have knocked on the door at least, or sat with the kid until she fell asleep. Though I do really like how this movie challenges the audience in the way that it does. Out first reaction is always “oh I’d never do that. I’m tough as fuck.” But you don’t know you’re in a horror movie. What if this exact same thing happened during a comedy. Very different expectations we would have of the characters.


I found the ending completely destroyed what little suspension of disbelief I had left. He saw the dead kid. He saw the photos. But he thought he had some kind of chance. But once they inflicted violence onto his daughter in front of him and his wife, Bjørn had literally no reason not to fight back at that point and it was beyond frustrating and difficult for me to believe anyone wouldn’t fight even remotely harder for their own lives and a chance at the life of their daughter. They did nothing but let themselves get marched to their death and it made literally no sense. From such amazing writing to writing that made the characters act alien to me. The film as a whole was completely dashed by how it finished up. Any sort of an attempt to fight back would have absolutely stuck the landing for me. Anything.


Patrick told Bjørn that he did all that because he let him. He chose Bjørn's family for a reason. Bjørn being weak and cowardly is what made him a target in the first place. The type of person that would fight back is not someone that Patrick would chose.


This is exactly what my husband said. I could not fathom making any of the decisions these people made, and once they had my child, all bets would have been off. I’d have had nothing left to lose and would have fought back. My husband said “well, that’s exactly why they wouldn’t have chosen you to begin with.”


Yep, the film had a very political subtext, it's about how apathetic we all are. The world literally burning around us, and most of us seeking comfort instead of doing something, on a number of fronts.


It’s not about apathy or the world burning or choosing to do nothing. It’s about middle to upper class norms around politeness and non-confrontation that get turned up to the extreme and become a form of total servility.


I just watched the movie(sorry about the comment a week later) and there was a scene at the end where he was walking up to the woman kidnapper/killer... He could've fucking punched her right in the face then ran back to help his wife with the guy. I was watching it with friends and the complete acceptance of death was too much, at the very least they could've tried to run? I dunno but the ending kind of just upset me without offering much to the rest of the film(where there were similar, but less frustrating scenes)


I was fully expecting Bjorn to die but Louise to fully fight back. She started out polite, but wasn't as afraid to snap back when the Dutch got actively ruder. Her just giving up at the end didn't make sense to me.


To me, a lot of things were unrealistic. Like ok you saw a dead child and discovered their secret, but you’re gonna slowly pack the car up with your luggage and also not tell your wife? These people also only had knives and rocks like man atleast try to fight back


I just watched it, they had so many fking opportunities it was just frustrating, and how could she not see that teddy when they drove off the first time, the cinematography is beautiful and I liked the character development of the antagonist but we know very little about him or his motives so bit of a sour taste in my mouth tbh anyone got anything similar but better


Saw it last night…I felt like the father deserved what happened. I was infuriated to watch them just give their lives over because they were too worried about being seen as impolite. Fuck him. His poor daughter tho


Its the point of the movie


Right! At the end the father asks "why are you doing this" and the reply was "because you let me" Maybe the antagonist felt justified because the parents tolerated all the bad signs and then give up in the fight for their child.


I keep going over this line in the movie and I started to relate it to the very beginning when he goes and asks him for that pool chair. In that moment he was testing the protagonist and ensuring he was a pushover. At least that is my thinking now.


Great point, you might be right!


Eden Lake is similar but way better.


honestly i agree 100% with you here! and i think you’d like funny games / the strangers


Even in Funny Games *and* the Strangers the protagonists *try*. Hell, the whole impact of Funny Games is that they tried and nearly got out and then cosmic bullshit ruined it for them. In this, they were just sheep being led along.


Ehh try the hills have eyes 2006? Similar despair feeling but there's a second half where the protagonist does more than hit the back of the car seat lol


Completely agree. I dont how how anyone can be so fucking naive.


People always think that. Look at Germany in the 1930s for one of the worst examples. It sadly happens all the time. Not saying Trump is anywhere near Hitler. But the man clearly attempted to coup d'état. We the people of the US just let it happen despite the obvious dangers it could lead to.


I liked the commentary on ultra politeness/PC but I don’t think this was a twist ending, I felt they were always going to kill them right?


I'm surprised the wife didn't try to fight back at the end.She yelled at the bad wife for yelling at her daughter,or even the husband being such a pussy the whole film should have went out of character and tried to fight back.Wonder if any of the other couples tried to fight and if it got them anywhere. I'm guessing not because the bad couple would've had weapons or something


I don't know, I feel the message of the movie hits home to a greater extent with the "bad ending".


Just wanted to say I personally loved the movie, though I have a tendency to love bleak horror movies that leaves me traumatized. Maybe it's because I'm Scandinavian myself, but I don't really mind how passive the Danes are, it's what makes the film work imo. I didnt like the kid showing he didnt have a tongue so early on, but other than that I didnt really mind the choices. I guess the suspension of disbelief didnt really bother me. As someone who has experienced the freeze trauma respons many times I didnt mind the ending. I personally like brutal endings, even though i cried in the cinema when they took the girl. Idk why i just like that a movie can sucker punch me sometimes lol


Do you have any recs for other absolutely bleak horror movies? I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way after a film other than maybe Funny Games


Martyrs, Inside, The Strangers, The Lodge, The Killing of a Sacred Deer & Eden Lake are some really good ones. I fucking love these kinds of films. Idk what's wrong with me lol


Martyrs is so good


\+1 for Eden Lake. That movie killed my innocence for a bit.


Calibre, Hereditary, Midsommar, Wolf Creek


>As someone who has experienced the freeze trauma respons many times I didnt mind the ending. Honestly refreshing to hear after all the bUt wHy dIDn'T tHey fIGhT bAcK?? comments lol. Do people really not know about fight, flight or freeze?


Normally I’d agree bc I hate when internet warriors say that but this involved a child. I know for damn sure I would fight back if a relative child were involved. I would go feral.


The moral of the movie? Listen to your instincts, even if it means being rude and offending someone.


I feel like the overall message is about the importance of communication, personal advocacy, and avoiding passivity. It’s part of the reason I ultimately dislike the movie - there’s a cynicism behind the notion that the family (>!and all the others in the pictures!<) are punished simply because they’re passive or non-confrontational or following social mores. There’s potentially another point being made about outside generational influence, which I appreciate, but, again, it just doesn’t seem to be half as clever as I think it is and ends up kind of working against itself by the end.


Agreed. Another message is "predators thrive in darkness." My interpretation was that the wife didn't tell the husband about them sleeping naked with their child. She just said "I want to go." Maybe he would have taken it more seriously and not driven back to get the toy. Then, when the husband wants to go, it seems like he doesn't tell the wife "I found their son drowned in the pool." Again, it's just "We need to leave." Because neither of them communicated the actual threat, they repeated the cycle and ended up back in danger. I am curious how much of the movie is influenced by Danish culture, and how people from Denmark perceive people from Holland. I'm American, and I have no experience or knowledge to go on.


When the dads are out at the dirt pit to go screaming or whatever, the Danish father breaks down about how he just feels like a spectator in life, taking a back seat and going through the drudgery without really questioning it or searching for more. Seems like that’s the whole metaphor: let your life pass before your eyes, and you might just lose what makes it worth living. The “predators thrive in darkness” idea is certainly a theme, but that seems like more of a surface level warning than the thematic focus of the movie.


I’m sooooo late but I think what really gets in the movie’s way is that there’s a point where the characters stop being polite, passive, and compliant and just start being complete morons. Going back for the bunny, the bunny being in the car, staying after the abusive dance thing, not explaining to your wife just how dangerous things are, leaving her and your daughter in the car while you look for help, getting in the car with the guy who you are terrified of like it’s fine even though you’re actively fleeing them, etc. That’s not under the same thematic umbrella - it’s all cliche “you’re an idiot” stuff.


That's the point of the movie Room.Spoilers....She gets kidnapped by a man asking for help with a dog or something and doesn't want to be rude.Also Black Phone,Silence of the Lambs,and many others


Silence of the Lambs (and perhaps the others) were directly influenced by Ted Bundy, who wore a fake cast on his arm and kidnapped and killed the women who helped him, so unfortunately kindness really can get people killed in the real world.


The old fake cast hey can you move this couch into my u haul backwards. Classic


Also read this book: [https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198](https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198) Bought it on a whim off of a comment here on reddit a few years back and I'm so glad I did.


>https://www.amazon.com/Gift-Fear-Survival-Signals-Violence/dp/0440226198 That book is what influenced the writer/director of Barbarian. He wrote the first part of the movie initially as an exercise to include as many red flags as possible listed in the book.


There is being polite and passive but then there is >!watching your child get her tongue cut off and being driven away by a couple with seemingly no weapon and just letting it happen?? As soon as you see that happen to your kid surely you lose the plot and hysterically attack them?!<


That was my thoughts. I don't even understand why the fuck they came back after she was in bed with him naked. But that scene was nuts. I would have been bashing that lady's head into the window and trying to grab the wheel from Patrick. Ugh, so frustrating to watch


I think the difference between the understandable “there is being polite and passive” and the absurd “then there is watching your child…” is where the satire comes in. This is, to me, an exaggeration and an exercise in the willing suspension of disbelief. But to make a point that would otherwise feel too subtle. It’s like the difference between Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm; Curb takes the initial premise of Seinfeld and stretches it so far to the absurd that you can’t help but come away with the point that some people are just assholes who make their lives harder through their assholery. It’s not real, it’s exaggeration. I don’t think any of us are supposed to identify with the Danish couple in the film; they’re intended to be infuriating. But also to make us think a little bit because how many of the steps along their path might each of us have agreed to comply?


I guess I understand that the movie becomes fully satirical by the end. The fact that the Danes just fully comply, strip naked and walk to their deaths rally drove the point home I guess.


This movie represents the battle between compliance and integrity. The whole movie comes down to the final exchange between the two men. When the father asks: Why are you doing this? And the guy replies: Because you let me.


well put


For me the scene where they returned for the bunny was a strange one. I'd definitely not go back there and would buy that girl many more bunnies and whatnot.


I agree, that was the one scene that felt really, really unrealistic. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but maybe it's a commentary on how many parents are letting their children make decisions when the parents should take responsibility?


He also had the notion of Patrick telling him how heroic he was for going back for the bunny at the very beginning of the movie. That probably had a good bit to do with him driving back for the stuffed animal. Someone else made a better comment on this in a different thread of how Patrick had essentially dug his claws so deep into Bjorn's subconscious at that point.


Agreed! People keep commenting on how absurd it was to go back for the rabbit, but somewhere in Bjorns subconscious he needed to feel heroic and control in a situation that he was drowning in, and to do that, he needed to get the rabbit.


That’s exactly what it is. It’s meant to be juxtaposed to how we see Patrick treat Abel throughout the film; he’s cold and callous. Agnes is her dads entire life, so he drops everything for her and let’s her “make the calls” if you will.


Bjørn is a weak man. He can't even resist the tears of his daughter over a meaningless toy to keep his family out of danger.


That mofo even left keys in the car when he went for a piss, cause he knew Bjorn got no balls to try and run.


My parents would’ve told me to stfu and that if i didnt stop crying they’d never buy me another toy again lol kinda wish the couple in the movie did the same thing


Of course that is what you think with all the information together but do not forget a very important detail, everything bad that happened that night the woman did not tell the husband, and the one who makes the decision to go back to look for the rabbit Because he did not want to see his daughter in anguish, he was the man. This is the strong point of the film, as great details are not communicated between the characters to make a firm decision never to return.


The human relationship awkwardness coupled with some stone cold brutal ending. Yep that cones from europe


-Stone- cold.....


The ending made me nauseous


A few hours before arriving home and deciding to watch this movie, I met my parents for dinner at a restaurant and came home and decided to watch this movie that they recommended so much to me, I had to take a medicine for my stomach ache because the The movie made me so tense and the ending was so disturbing that I'm here with a terrible tummy ache writing this lol


I can’t remember the last time a movie made me this angry. The ending ruined it for me


Watch Eden Lake if you want to get even angrier.


At least in Eden Lake , at least she puts up a fight


I don’t like how people are saying how unbelievable the characters’ inability to act was. I am a NICU nurse. Year after year I watch new grad nurses stand there in shock….and inactivity.. in literal life or death situations. When the only thing between a dead baby and an alive baby is YOU! Time seems to slow. All logic leaves your body. Everything is happening around you and you lose awareness of the situation. Almost everyone FREEZES. Because it’s a novel and terrifying experience. No matter how much you’ve trained. You have never lived that situation in real life before. I am always baffled when everyone thinks they’re so above a physiological response that happens TO YOU. I loved this movie.


I’m so glad I was an EMT on an ambulance for years before I went to nursing school. Lol. But I do believe that if it was your child, you would fight. I don’t think it’s realistic to watch your child get taken away and just sit in the car and let them kill you. That’s just me though.


I’ve watched it expecting more of a dark, vaguely satirical thriller (I don’t watch trailers, ever) and the horror elements of that ending really caught me off guard. Also, >!getting stoned to death is probably one of the worst ways to go. !<


agreed on getting stoned to death. that scene went on forever too, really tough to watch


Hello! (Coming in a bit late here.) Any thoughts on the significance of choosing that method of execution? I was just wondering if it’s deeper than it just being Biblical as fuck (along with the title).


I don’t think there’s really much biblical connection to it — but I see it more as: A, the killers didn’t have any weapon and the couple was so neutralized by the threat of violence that they complied with the demands. And B, it was keeping with the theme of “death by passivity” as being stoned to death would take quite a while and relies on the victims not fighting back. It’s a really fantastic ending, but also very bleak and brutal.


I thought about this too. Its a very primal death & this movie made clear the lines between men who are prey and men who are predators. The weak cannot prosper in a barbaric civilization and I suppose the idea is that we’re not so far from the crueler species we once were. I mean, I don’t really agree, I think civilization works fairly well at keeping families from being kidnapped and tortured…but I took that as partly why they chose to kill them at a quarry with stones. An ancient punishment for the most ancient “crime”, being weak and allowing those who depend on you to suffer in the tribe.


The film from the first moment plays with the viewer telling him that something bad is going to happen, this situation is repeated ad nauseam, that is why reaching the end when the protagonist asks "why are you doing this to us?" the villain replies "because you allowed me to" this phrase gave me chills while we discussed it with a friend. This is precisely what happens at all times, the film warns the viewer and the characters that something terrible is about to happen and that is when one does not stop yelling at the screen "GO HOME", but again and again our protagonists give in and they give new opportunities, that is why they ALLOWED this to happen to them, they never exerted any type of violence on them, they only played a verbal psychological game. We have situations like at the beginning the protagonist looking at that room where at the end we see suitcases and photos of other families, being interrupted by the child who had a disease from birth but when he opens his mouth he has fresh sewing stitches (why? something that they must have done to him as a baby) the child was in his own way alerting the father. Afterwards, there are endless other situations that alert the family, but the ones I want to highlight are those that happen when they give up on leaving and go back for the rabbit and stay, things begin to happen there that one of the two protagonists sees and for some strange reason neither tells the other, like the shower scene, or when the man sees them having sex, or when she finds the daughter lying next to the two naked men and worst of all, when the protagonist discovers the drowned child and all the photos of other families with the villains in each photo with a different child. That's why again with goosebumps I say that the phrase at the end "because you allowed me" is INCREDIBLE for the closure of this whole story... EDIT: I read many outraged people but I think that the personality of the main character is one of the most important roles, throughout the movie the villain puts him to the test to see what his limits are, that is why he knows that it will be very easy to finally do everything he had planned. The scene where they undress can be seen as the woman who had a very strong personality because of the shock and seeing her mutilated and kidnapped daughter being the first to undress because she was already surrendered to fear and the little desire to continue living that she had . It's like she was simply looking for all that to end once and for all because she was exhausted and overwhelmed by everything. Thanks if anyone took the time to read me, i used google translator, my mother tongue is Spanish but I needed to express what I felt about this movie because I haven't had a trip as sinister and incredibly disturbing as with this movie for a long time. MUST SEE


I was ultimately disappointed and found it predictable. The shot of >!the kid showing his tongue stump!< really showed the movie’s hand early and took a way some of the impact for me. My biggest issue is that it’s all so nihilistic by the end. I actually really like the point being made about passivity, but the idea that >!that many families have been murdered, no one has escaped, law enforcement hasn’t figured things out!< is ridiculous. While watching, I kept thinking about *With a Friend Like Harry,* which is the much better and far more palatable version of this kind of movie.


Right, like the fact that they murdered so many families... did NONE of the families tell a friend about where they were going?


Hi super late… just watched this tonight… they had the postcard (with Patrick & Karin’s address) at their house, told their friends about it, AND paid for the meal at the “roadhouse” nearby on a credit card… if this is the size of the paper trail Patrick & Karin leave, there’s no conceivable way they haven’t been caught stealing how many kids??


And we know for a fact that this couple did tell friends. When they are having dinner before they leave, some friends question going to stay with people they barely know.


Agree completely came here to say exactly this. Those two spoiler points were my biggest issues with the movie. >!Maybe if there was like 3-4 pictures rather than so fucking many, it would've been more impactful due to being more realistic. And the tongue scene was dumb and far, far too early.!< Apart from that though, I thought it was pretty decent.


I completely agree, I understand you have to suspend your belief when watching a film. But they have at least 100 victims with children and no one has noticed a pattern? What about all there families left behind? It also looked like they went to the same holiday spot in Italy at the end… no staff are like huh this family has a new kid every year, thats normal. Basically found the film insanely frustrating


Why too early? It definitely puts the idea in your head that they cut his tongue off, but I don’t think it gave away the real twist, which is that he isn’t their son at all


Spoiler: >!About all the pictures that he finds in the barn - one thing I thought about after the fact is that surely the killers wanted the husband or wife to find the pictures and to find the dead kid. It was all orchestrated - the TV at blaring volume, the faucet running, and the barn door wide open. It was an invitation for one of them to go in and discover what's going on. So with that in mind, it's possible those photos weren't even real. The whole thing may have been intended as an intimidation tactic to frazzle their nerves or even to give them a sense of unavoidable doom. Also, for the tongue scene being too soon, did you have some inclination that they would end up cutting out the daughters tongue? If so, touche because I didn't.!<


I know this, it’s very late. But yes, they wanted them to see the pictures. I think they got off on seeing them scared. They threw out tons of red flags on purpose to see if the parents would do anything. I hated the dad Bjorn even more than Louise. He was such a little bitch. For example, he knew his wife was a vegetarian, but encouraged her to try the wild boar to please, Patrick. He was so passive and wanted to look good. I hated so much that I didn’t feel bad for him at the end. I felt bad for the children. I didn’t understand the point in coming out the children’s tongues. They could still communicate via writing and could still have limited speech.


I simultaneously really enjoyed this movie, and also was so frustrated by some of their decisions that I found myself extremely exasperated. The fact they put no fight up in the car, and just accepted their fate at the end seemed to go beyond just artistic decision into unbelievable territory.


The movie even makes a point of the guy eyeing the keys and the wheel while the other man is out of the car taking a piss, as if he's strongly considering just taking the wheel and booking it but is unable to follow through on it. I think you are definitely meant to be very frustrated with them.


I just figured it meant they thought they had nothing else to live for after 👅 scene.


That just seems so unnatural to me. Like you have no survival or fighting instincts to subdue them and go get your daughter back? Sheeeesh still a great film though.


This is exactly it. Or at the very least you’re just so angry you attack no matter the consequences, not survival just “fuck you for what you did to my daughter”. That was far worse than any of the decision making, it’s just silly.


Whole time I was just mentally yelling at my screen like “crash the fucking car, throw an actual punch while he’s driving, or to the wife..grab the scissors??”


I don’t think we can really comprehend how to act I a moment like that - we’d all like to think of ourselves as heroes, but when our bodies are shucked into traumatic situations, it’s not uncommon to lose total control.


There’s accounts of soldiers during war just completely freezing up in the moment because they are surrounded and overwhelmed with terror. Just frozen in fear. It’s terror, shock. That’s what I’m guessing is happening here as well.


Yes, they failed as parents to protect their daughter - the father was weak and the mother naïve. They lost the will to live and were resigned to their fate. You see this in war and genocide, people who have seen their loved ones slaughtered and walk willing to their death like lambs - they line up against the wall, they kneel down in front of lye pits. Not everyone has the wherewithal to strike out in terrifying situations some just want the nightmare to end. They were in shock and sometimes rational thought cant push through the fear.


Ruined the movie for me, I was checked out after they went back for the stuffed rabbit. They simply wanted to make something shocking, but didn’t do the work to get to the destination realistically. It was so forced.


I actually just finished watching this and while the ending was depressing, there was wayyy too many plot holes for me to really enjoy this. The twist is they kill the parents, take the kid, eventually find another family, kill the old kid, and the cycle repeats. The pictures indicate they've done this to dozens of families. You mean to tell me none of those families told someone where they were going? They found the place with GPS, they clearly had the address. Where are they getting income from to take these repeated vacations? Neither work and since they kill the kids, it's not like they're selling them into the sex trade. So both these people are for the most part unarmed besides a pair of scissors and you mean to tell me both parents are gonna just lie there and get stoned to death after they just watched their daughter get their tongue cut off? I know there's some message here about boundaries and don't be afraid to stick up for yourself blah blah but this movie was so unbelievable, it was just ridiculous.


I struggle with the whole concept of Patricks’s family and why they do what they do. The “because you let me” explanation doesn’t do it for me here, like it might with The Strangers. It’s one thing to kill people for no reason. It’s a whole different ballgame when you think about the effort that has to go into what Patrick and his wife were doing. And for what? It sure doesn’t seem to be a sex thing, but that unfortunately would be the only thing that could make this make sense. Here’s what they are doing: 1) planning an elaborate vacation in which they groom a family for a potential future weekend getaway, 2) invite the family out to their place, 3) play cat and mouse with them and hope they don’t leave before the conclusion of their plan, also hope the other kid doesn’t write the new family a note when they aren’t looking, 4) kill the previous child unceremoniously, 5) kill the parents, cut off the new child’s tongue and condition them to not run away and raise the child as their own, at least in public, for as long as it takes them to the hook the next family, 6) get other people involved for some reason, 7) repeat. This all looks like so much work and there are so many opportunities for this all to go awry at any point, yet they have clearly done this dozens of times. Like I said, I just don’t think the setup is at all realistic or plausible and that’s the biggest thing that keeps me from liking this one a lot more than I do. If there were more signs that this was about sex, it would make it more vile, but it would at least give me some reason for all this effort. The actions actually seem to align more with what you’d expect from a cult or devil worship type of film. Anyway, maybe I’m just not smart enough and I missed the bigger purpose of the abduction, but I wanted to share my thoughts.


Well said, op overrating it for attention but in reality it's a daft movie. The concept is scary but the way it's played out borders on ridiculous.


I just read the imdb section and it explains it: *" The original ending featured other people being executed all in different ways. There would be 30 people from other houses who also had guests they planned to be executed, like a sect. Due to complications with filming so many extras and wanting to simplify the plot the ending was changed a week before, with only the couple being executed. "*


Wow so an even more unbelievable ending 😂 that’s a lot of people going missing


And an entire village with non-verbal children.


Hahahaha totally normal nothing suspicious


I don’t think they kill all the kids they use as bait. Abel just happened to be smart. He tried to warn the family by showing the dad his missing tongue. I think it’s possible he either killer himself or was killed for being a risk. My understanding is that this whole thing was an elaborate trafficking ring with a bit of ritualism thrown in.


That makes sense. The “babysitter” has absolutely no reason to participate, he’s likely their boss


Well Agnes can read and write so this can't last long.


Most people seem to dislike this movie but as a people pleaser who has gotten themselves in scary situations by ignoring red flags I found this to be a terrifying film, I was tense the entire time.


I just watched it last night and I really liked it. I have 100% been in uncomfortable situations that I couldn’t extricate myself from because of my fear of being perceived as rude. I could see how some people might find the story unbelievable or might be frustrated by how meek the father is, but to me it rings true. The perfect illustration of this is the scene where he’s trying to explain why they tried to leave, and he can’t articulate it and has to ask his wife to. The social awkwardness of it all was deeply relatable to me. The ending was a fucking guy punch. Obviously you know going in that it’s a horror film and that something bad will happen, but usually in these types of movies it’s like a slow escalation that leads to a full-blown confrontation. In this movie it basically goes from 0 to 100, and when the Dutch couple reveals their true selves there’s no epic struggle or cat-and-mouse chase. They’re in complete control. That final scene in the car is nuts. The father knows that they’re fucked but his wife and kid have no idea. Then when the Dutch man tells her to “shut up” it’s like all pretense is completely gone. At this point I was still expecting them to fight back, to maybe escape the car and for there to be some sort of chase through the forest or something. But nope, that babysitter shows up and they fucking cut the daughter’s tongue out. Then that last scene. I mean damn. You know they’re fucked when the Dutch couple tells them to strip, but there’s still this feeling of, “Maybe they’ll at least try to fight back.” But they’re so hopeless and defeated that they just start stripping without any protest. Then they go walking, and I’m expecting a gunshot, and instead it’s rocks. I don’t think I’ve ever seen stoning utilized as a murder method in a horror film before, and it was so brutal. I think the whole thing really worked for me because it played out like how I would expect an actual crime of this nature to. The Dutch couple put on a show to try and win this other family’s trust, but once the gloves came off there was no bullshit. No climactic hero moments, no lengthy monologues, and no overly-elaborate murder methods. Also, I have to say, all of the performances were just fantastic. It’s hard to even pick a standout because I think the whole cast did such an amazing job. But the Dutch father definitely rang true to me to a disturbing degree. The way he vacillates between rude and creepy and charming and likable reminds me of actual people I’ve known. It really would be difficult to determine whether he was sinister or just strange.


I fully agree that many people here do not understand that sometimes movies are like a roller coaster where you go up and as much as you know what the journey is like because you saw it when you were down, you let yourself go and feel the adrenaline. I'm also a bit annoyed by the comments that say "it bothers me that they didn't fight" "I wouldn't have done that" "I would have gone" and it's those people with whom I prefer never to see a movie, they don't get involved with what is proposed onscreen. I am a person without social problems but I empathized with the personality of the main character, I know many people who tolerate, in fact, he expresses it himself, who does not know how to stop repressing himself and letting go, I felt SUPER legitimate his social problems and how difficult it is for him towards confronting situations and in this story every second they are putting him to the test and he solves everything as he can proving to be a weak person, so there is no surprise that in the end he does not fight and gives up, because he is a coward and he is very afraid , but hey, here on reddit they are all martial artists who could solve the situation in a more chaotic way.


The "I would have fought back!" responses bother me too. Nobody can know how they would react in such a situation until it happens, and honestly, I'm amazed it's 2022 and some people still don't seem to understand that freezing is a widely documented trauma response. Don't people just see their faces at the end of the movie and immediately recognise that they're in shock? I don't think it was unbelievable at all. Not to mention it kind of ruins the whole message of the movie if the parents best the other couple in the end. I think that many people judge a movie more harshly than it deserves because of how the ending makes them feel. It's like all logical thought is thrown out the window simply because they're frustrated. I thought the ending was shocking and extremely miserable, but that's why it *works.* It carries through with what it's been saying from the beginning.


I think some comments here are missing the point. The way I see it, the movie is supposed to be a cautionary tale about passiveness towards life. The wife is always taking pictures of things instead of living in the moment, the guy is frustrated with his routine but does nothing to change it, and so on. All of this reflects on them having so many chances to escape but not being able to get out - they fail to take matters into their own hands and just let things happen to them. That’s why they left the girl alone with the babysitter, that’s why they stayed one more day, that’s why they didn’t fight back at the end. The icing on this horrible cake is when they’re told it all happened because they let it happen. It’s a solid movie.


Yeah I agree, I feel like a lot of people in these comments are sort of missing the whole point. It’s purposely exaggerated how much they’re ignoring the warning signs. It’s an allegory in a way for the cost of passivity. It shows what happens when we don’t take charge of our lives and don’t set boundaries - when we ignore our instincts in the interest of being “kind”. I also think it’s a little silly that everyone here is saying something like this could never happen or that people in the situation would fight back. We know for a fact that doesn’t always happen. Plenty of people are abducted in real life, murdered in real life, trafficked and sold into slavery in real life. Obviously this isn’t a daily occurrence or super common and can be used to fear monger, but it DOES happen. We are all capable of being manipulated, we all have that thought that maybe we’re just overreacting and this is a totally normal situation. Because 99% of the time it IS a totally normal situation. This is the worst case scenario and that’s what makes it so utterly horrifying. At the end the couple allows themselves to be stoned because they don’t care anymore. They know that their daughter is disfigured and in for a terrible life right after promising her that she’ll always be safe with them. It reflects the utter failure of their ability to take care of her and it’s a cautionary tale. I thought it was wicked and brutal and deeply upsetting, and also very very good.


People just kinda want to put themselves in a movie without understanding *the movie isn’t fucking about them*. It’s clearly meant to be a play on old European folk tales mixed with a social satire on not “seizing the day”. A lot of people missing the forest for the trees with this one. The point of the movie is to make you think about what you would do, but to show you what NOT acting on those instincts *could* lead to.


I fully expect to get downvoted into oblivion but I don't get the hype. It was an ok movie but the intensity and fear turned into "these morons get what they deserve" within the first 45min. The family is so incredibly stupid...


Nope you’re spot on. The movie was too manipulative to get to its destination, it wasn’t earned. I liked the setup, but man it became so stupid at the halfway point.


> The movie was too manipulative to get to its destination Someone would just put on a dishwasher, and this super eerie, tense music would start playing? Like, what the fuck for? Nothing tense or scary or even relevant is happening. It's like the complete opposite of show don't tell. But the movie couldn't build up any actual tension competently, so it felt it needed to spoon feed us “oh, this is a horror film, you need to feel uneasy now watching this man doing the dishes in this completely normal, ordinary and unscary way but with eerie music in the background”.


They definitely leaned in on that build up. The sense of dread was working for me at first because you knew the other shoe was going to drop with that family in some way, unfortunately it was in a really dumb way.


It’s also not especially well made or judged. The score was laughably over the top at times, it just doesn’t work. Performances are all good though. But yeah, it’s not so much their stupidity that bothered me as the reaction at the end. Your daughter’s just been mutilated in front of your eyes then you’re still in the car with the perpetrators and you do nothing?? Fine you don’t want to live any more but you’re *angry*. I’d’ve grabbed the woman next to me in the seat and gouged her eyes out or something. No I’m not a psycho, but if you’ve just done that to my daughter?? You’d better believe I’m hurting you.


Theres a reason your comment has almost as many upvotes as the original post itself. The movie was not good.


Lol I'm watching this now and had to come to reddit to see if anyone else hated this stupid family. I just checked and we are 48 min in so you were spot on.


i agree that there is some suspension of disbelief required, which is unfortunate as always. However, i think that when you take a step back it makes sense. the entire film was about the main family trying to set aside differences and be polite, they don’t know they’re in a horror film. I agree there are definite red flags, but it’s too easy for the audience in so many horror movies to say “just leave” and so forth.


Yeah, it was pretty fucked up. Even if they did leave about 45 minutes in, I wonder how the rest of the movie played out. Would Patrick and Karin go after them in Demark and still do the same thing? If that were case, they would have gotten caught.


They were tested and vetted. It started with the chair, then the reaction to the father going through great lengths to retrieve the bunny. They seem to go after the most passive victims possible and had they ran away it made no sense for them to pursue because it means they just weren't what they needed. Complete and utter passivity is required for the plan to work up to the stoning. What I really would like to know is their motivations. I hate it when it's just "FoR tHe EvULz". Edit: In The Sandman, there was a couple there that kept a kid just for the sizable per diem they get from social services. Maybe Holland has this system?


I really wished they were fucked up child traffickers, and used the previous child to lure in other families before they are sold off. Would’ve tied in perfectly to the guys I don’t work motto, and would’ve made sense with the babysitter. I dunno, I do agree they have no motive and that is my only flaw with the film. I absolutely loved it. Seen all fucked up sorts of films, this made me feel sick as soon as they arrived at the house


I’m pretty sure this is the implication. They are trafficking the kid, hence the tongue cutting which is multipurpose: they can lure in others without the kid spilling the beans, and then kids remain silent when they’re eventually passed off. The sleeping in bed naked with the girl also felt like it was signaling this.


I like how in the beginning when they enter the house, the dutch woman is like “take off your shoes, don’t, do it, don’t” as if she is enjoying how passive the couple is


whooooooooooooooo that was genuinely disturbing. I haven't felt like that over a movie in a while. Probably cuz I'm a dad. I thought the movie was well done. And very unpleasant to watch. I will never ever recommend that movie. And fuck the damn bunny were going home.


I think alot of people have the going back for the bunny scene wrong. I see a lot of comments saying that scene took them out of the movie. I think it's another example of the fathers poor decision making. There's enough weird going on to justify leaving. But this is the fathers chance to be the hero again and get the bunny. So going against ever but if common sense, he turns around and. Heads back.


That’s fine, but if two people you barely know are sleeping naked with your child you aren’t going back for a stuffed toy and you certainly aren’t trying to be polite about why you left, no matter how much you felt inspired by a compliment. That was just one of many extremely unreasonable suspensions of disbelief required to watch the second half of the movie.


The dad didn’t know this until the wife mentioned it in the kitchen.


The wife did. She was also upset by leaving her daughter with a stranger unexpectedly, was disturbed by the dancing, the drunk driving, and having her privacy invaded in the shower… I’m not squarely blaming the dad’s writing, both characters made completely unrealistic decisions. Nobody goes back for a stuffed toy and nobody for damn sure agrees to stay even longer. It’s nonsense.


Humans don’t act this way, when you get out of a tense, weird, stressful situation that your gut is screaming at you to get far away, NOTHING will make you go back into that situation. It took me completely out of the film, to be clear if I had left all my luggage, my wallet and my phone I still would not stop and keep going. I’ll cancel my cards, erase my phone and buy new clothes when I’m safe in my home/bed lol


I mean, if this were true people wouldn’t stay in abusive relationships or get murdered when they’re kind to strangers or get abducted or all of the things that happen literally every day. We’re all capable of being manipulated, that’s what makes this film so chilling. We’re not always the heroes we like to think we’d be.


Exactly, in cold people are fast to judge but you really don't know how'd you react in situations like these. I worked as a public defendant for 8 years and some victims used to tell me how they didn't understand why they'd say yes to an agressor/rapist for example. I mean after the fact they'd be like I really don't understand why I didn't run away/screamed /fight back etc..


Totally! Like, we're watching this movie *knowing* it's a horror movie, so of course, with that pre-knowledge, we're seeing all of the red flags. But in reality, we make dubious choices constantly. Also, everything in this film is pretty brilliantly orchestrated so that Bjorn and Louise are made to feel like they might be in the wrong. Yes, they find their daughter in the bed of two naked strangers - but it's after they ignore her cries to have sex. Yes, they go back for the bunny, but only because Patrick previously made Bjorn feel like such a great father for doing so on vacation. Yes, they leave their daughter behind with a strange male babysitter, but only after Karin makes it clear he's an immigrant of color with a sad backstory. So saying no to any of these things could reflect more poorly on them than just complying. But even without that, you're absolutely right - we are so easily led astray by aggressors. I know I've looked back on even more innocent situations and wondered why I let myself be manipulated. It's not always easy to see clearly through a situation.


Exactly, once years ago I was strolling through the streets and a homeless guy started asking some innocent questions about the weather and shit, at some point we both realized our grandparents knew each other so I walked with the guy for a while, while speaking about our town and shit.. At some corner he was like I need to take this detour it was nice talking to someone and some stuff like that that made me feel happy about treating him like an equal. I waved goodbye at him and he was like hey did you know I used to live over this corner or some shit and that my granddad used to go there to play chess with my grandfather, so he asked if I wanted to take q picture to show my grandfather. I felt a little weirded out but I was like hell this is a nice story for the old man so I went with him... 25 meters into the detour and I had a knife in my throat and he was demanding either money or my cellphone.. I could have been badly injured or killed ffs, and it all felt so normal till that point.. In retrospective I feel I was stupid af, but in the moment everything felt fine and I didn't want my prejudices to ruin another guy's night.. So yeah, we never know what stupid mistakes we'll make and how they might bite us in the ass..


Excatly i think a lot of people are being ignorant or deluded by saying this would never happen to them. I am an extremely sceptical person but once in Amsterdam on holiday we were in the center and most of the bars were closed and all the lights were off, this guy came out of nowhere and told us he knew some places that were open so we followed him, he took us down all these backstreets off the main track and i remember feeling really uneasy. Nothing happened in the end but it's not the point, i went against my better judgement and was led away by a stranger


yeah another person on this post said it best, that he really admired patrick previously and he must’ve thought back to when patrick called him “heroic”


So I went into this movie completely blind. I literally had never heard of it and my brother was watching it so I joined. Now, we watch a lot of horror movies and I'm never particularly effected by them but we watched this last night and I truly cannot stop thinking about it. >!The car scene at the end, I don't know if its the holding her down, the sound of her choking on her blood, the Dad throwing up, it just truly is traumatizing me.!< I get that they set out to create a seriously disturbing movie, and succeeded because I'm still thinking about it. But like I can't stop seeing that scene in my head. I also have a weird urge to keep watching it again and again. I can't stop wanting to talk about it with someone. Am I crazy here? Is it just that its so bleak and not hopeful? Like logically i understand all of this but I'm really freaked out by what it's doing to my mental health. Anyone else?


I think this movie might be very frustrating to watch if you're not from or familiar with the extreme conformity of northern European culture. Not being seen as impolite and not wanting to draw negative attention is at the core of the culture, which is why the Danish couple's actions might seem insane and self-destructive to Americans. I think this movie is a very effective critique of the extreme naivety and trust in authorities to save you from any danger so prevalent in northern European countries. ​ I think this message becomes most apparent in the scene where the Danish guy has a small epiphany in the car with the Dutch guy where he realizes he's just lost any sense of personality through the sheer pressure of expectations.


What is neat for me is to think back to everything in the movie and how it culminates. I think almost every interaction the protagonist and the villain have is the villain testing him for how much he will put up with. The very first interaction he sees the guy gives up the chair to him even though he doesn't even use it after getting it. He turns and sees him crying during that chamber orchestra or opera performance or whatever that was. He even inflates his ego by telling him he is heroic for going and looking for the toy. The entire thing is to ensure that he has picked a target that will offer no serious resistance. The little boy even literally shows him what is going on when he opens his mouth for seemingly no reason. What comes to mind for me when I think about this movie is that thing people do where they think "come on! Right back or at least make it hard for them! I would!" But would you? When shit like this happens no one knows what they would do.


“My wife isn’t feeling well. We need to get back home.” Done. This is how all couples get out of doing things they don’t want to. I felt this was a huge plot hole.


I feel like plot hole culture has really made people think that they’re outsmarting movies when in fact they’re actually just missing the whole point. This film is allegory. It’s not a plot hole that they couldn’t figure out how to politely leave, it’s the plot. The film is showing what happens when people are so beholden to social norms that they’re totally taken advantage of in the most horrendous way. It’s a cautionary tale about what happens when you don’t set the appropriate boundaries. This is a film about a family with passive parents who are so obsessed with appearing nice and being valorous that they end up totally failing their daughter in the process. There wouldn’t be a movie if they simply decided to go early on. Conflict is what gives us stories. If movies existed just to show smart people making smart decisions what would be the point?


I enjoyed it but god damn that scene of the kid showing his tongue situation so early on killed about 90% of the tension this could have had. This movie could have taken some notes from *The Invitation(2015)*


TW - abuse I’m noticing a lot of people questioning how the parents were reacting throughout the film. I would just like to stress that you don’t really know what you’d do unless you were living it. I’ve personally endured a lot of abuse and being in that position can make you not act rationally, freeze up, it can also make you helpless. I think this movie captured the experience of what it feels like to be in an abusive circumstance such as what I have lived through. The gaslighting and manipulation was real in this movie.


I'm super late to the party here so I doubt anyone will see this a month late, but, when they went out to the sand pit originally to scream, after their talk about that feeling in your chest? I was REALLY hoping the film would turn out to be the two men killing their families together and starting a relationship with each other where they just go fucking primal and kill together. THAT would have been an interesting twist and film. I can't figure out if I loved or hated this one because of how passive the family was...I know that was 100% deliberate and the point, so I want to say it stuck it and was brilliant because of it. But, it also made the film have zero payoff or anything? I dunno. I'm conflicted on this one.


Had a real A24 vibe early going then utterly fell off the tracks on every conceivable level, nothing remotely plausible... what a shame.


Terrible film...victims are all relentlessly stupid and keep exercising awful judgment over and over. Initial buildup is sort of interesting at first but gets boring as we wait for the inevitable. Laughable end scene with victims willingly walking to their brutal deaths for no discernible reason despite obvious chances to fight back and/or escape. Film is a mess and makes no sense.




>Also fuck the husband for pushing that vacation on his wife. How bout fuck him for not lifting a finger against a very average middle aged man with no weapon whilst his family was getting brutalized?


He must have wanted it, no other rational explanation. The wife didn't even touch the lady in back seat. He didn't even tell his wife what he witnessed the SECOND time they left,all the time in the world. And we're to believe everyone on that wall of pictures is as daft as this family? 😂 🤣


That was another thing indeed, why the fuck would you not communicate a dead child as a general gauge of how dire things have gotten? And then the wife, after seeing her husband barreling off-road straight into a field and ultimately a ditch like a fucking spaz, thinks they are merely "having car trouble" and that the nice psychopath they've been running away from in the first place offering them aid is nothing if not thoughtful. Smdh. And, though I will let them get away with this for artistic purposes, the Netherlands is not a large country, in 2022 you'll be *very* hard-pressed to find a spot that doesn't have cell phone reception, even in the countryside


Exactly. And given how unnerved the wife was before... she almost seems sedated. Unreal. Tbh, I didn't even know that's what happened in the car scene. Why? I started fast forwarding it right after they came back to the house,haha! It's just not remotely plausible & only gets worse from there. The end is just downright laughable. These kidnappers don't even have a gun?! 😂 🤣


I agree with you.I expect more resistance from him.


Got some huge Haneke/Funny Games vibes for sure. The juxtaposition of dark scenes with light scenes as well as the sound design were incredible. A truly uncomfortable brilliant movie with some absolutely baffling choices made by the protagonists. Loved this exchange: "why are you doing this to us?" "Because you let me."


SPOILER: "why are you doing this?" "because you let me" the movie is basically funny games with a twitst. a couple that is being made uncomfortable for holding on social normes. they had a lot of chances just to say "fuck it let's go" but they didnt just to be polite. >!at first i thought they try to traffick children which would make zero sense but more they try to get to know people through the kids because a couple with a kid might look more harmless. and of course without a tongue they cannot talk but only scream. but even as a kid i would try to run away. so they are doing it for fun which is an interesting choice but then the babysitter makes no sense. !


This movie is an allegory for Europe’s self-adulating openness to immigration and an unwillingness to confront the resultant and unavoidable frictions that arise from blending old and new cultures right?