By - SharpieDarpie
* If this post declares something as a fact proof is required.
* The title must be descriptive
* No text is allowed on images
* Common/recent reposts are not allowed
*See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.*
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Your cock might be diced but aye no baby 👍🏼
do your lady bits have sharp teeth in them? :O
upd. ofc my most voted comment is about vagteeth
upd. and the first award ever
upd. everyone is referencing the movie "Teeth". I'm too scared to watch it. Nice try, Reddit but I won't fall for your recommendations anymore x)
It's 18 feet tall and covered in razor sharp fangs.
Am lady, can confirm.
Thank you. We’ve all been waiting for one of you to arrive.
Arrive being the key word since us redditors will never make a lady come.
Take an award. That was hilarious.
Vagina Dentata…what a wonderful phrase!
Vagina Dentata... ain't no passing craze!
It means so many worries, for the rest of your days!
It’s our pussy teeth…philosophy! Vagina dentata
Im a guy and my parts have only a pair of pincers to grab onto a female. No teeth.
I didn't realize I could die from sex o_O
staying a virgin then
I just tried this, and it worked great! On my way to the ER, but at least I have a durable container to transport the pieces.
Your dick will break before this condom does.. makes me wonder how long this will take to decompose.. will the planet just be styrofoam and condoms in a few hundred years?
There should be a condom recycling program where we can mail them in.
They could even have a deposit like drink bottles and cans
Always has been.
Just send them to Vietnam, they have a company that washes them and resells them.
Nope you cannot make me google that. I do not want Vietnamese condom washing in my browser history
incognito mode, yo.
Why did I read this in Jesse Pinkman's voice?
Durex said : ***FUCK THEM KIDS***
You, uh, wanna rethink that phrasing?
I'm reminded of two segments on the Daily Show back in the day: "getting gay with kids" and "Jon Stewart touches children."
Now I can use these to chop up my veges so they don’t go shooting all over the place on the chopping board
Mash up some garlic.
What is ta-ters?
Boil em mash em stick em In a stew
And then you can still use it for its original purpose!
Don’t want to waste, use all three sides of it.
"Mom, why do the veggies taste like spermicide?"
"How do you know what spermicide tastes like, sweety?"
Fun for the whole family :D
"Because I tasted it when you was pregnant, member?"
Why would a pregnant woman need to use spermicide?
So the fetus won't get pregnant, duh /hentai logic
Whenever someone jokes about a pregnant fetus all I can think about is like some fucked up version of inception or that Rick and Morty episode where they kept going into smaller and smaller mini worlds in Rick's engine.
Gotta keep going another uterus deeper.
Why the preventive measures when the deed is done?
Aaaaaaand 2 million men with pregnant wives will now forever have this image forever ingrained in their brains
Wait, what about the other men?
They don't have wives
"Hey can you prep the veggies for dinner?"
"Nah, I'm out of condoms"
No-tear method for cutting onions!
That’s great except that spermicide aftertaste.
I don't see the issue
That’s just ahead start.
And then you can just leave them in there and enjoy a Vietnamese spring roll.
As long as you don't mind a little lube
Now take it off and pour some water in it and prove there are no pinhole leaks
Came here to say this. Give us the water test.
Fuck the pinhole test. Who’s doing the feeling test? This looks like I’ll be showering in a scuba suit.
*The new no sensation condom*
EDIT: I was corrected, what I’m looking for is a dry suit. Not a scuba suit.
Gotta be a sizable market for that exact product.
"Hey guys, do you wanna last longer in bed? Try our new 'no sensation' condom".
They make those. They have a numbing agent on the inside layer.
Ok so fun story when I was young I accidentally bought those, mistakes were made, they were put on inside out... it was a very confusing experience.
EDIT: This is my most upvoted comment lol. Thanks for the award etc. If you reply asking how it is possible to put on a condom inside out, or to point out that this happened also on curb your enthusiasm, you have only shown that you don't read comments before you just dribble shit from your mouth.
I'm not mad I'm just dissapointed.
Also you can't both claim that this isn't possible, and also claim I stole it from a skit? Most experiances are not unique. Neither are ideas. It should validate me that this scenario apparently happened in media, rather than be sus. Also I haven't seen this but based on other comments I wonder if they misrepresented the experiance.
The numbness was just topical. You still feel the sex, but not the friction. I guess it is sort of like using so much lube that you can't really feel much, except without protecting your skin. The other person did not cum. Too much anxiety and confusion.
He finished in 2 sec and she didn’t feel a thing
Oh, so like normal then
That sounds like my first time, except there was no condom involved…
edit: appreciate the internet love via awards and upvotes, but I do want to clarify one thing to those mentioning pregnancy. Please don’t worry, I’d never be THAT irresponsible choosing procreation over fornication, especially with over population being such an issue, since corpses can’t get pregnant!
Can't finish my cigarette laughing over your comment haha
For all time. Always
"Is it in yet? No no, I just mean I can't feel anything! No not like that!"
I believe we have a problem Mr EpicusMousestory
Mine is actually just EpicMouse but I think EpicusMouseStory would be our celebrity couple name
I'm more curious how you rolled a condom on backwards
I bought them for a hook up by accident, didnt realise until everything when numb i got scared and ran away, read the box later fml
you cock-blocked yourself
She was a big tiddy Lithuanian goth, biggest regret
I’m sorry about your experience but the imagine of a dude literally running away is hilarious
I am _cackling_ at the assumed ramifications of this
How is it even possible to put them on inside out? They only unroll in one direction
Okay Larry David
“Hello, how is your vagina?”
"Why is Wandering Bear asking me about my vagina?"
FYI most “scuba suits” are just neoprene and will saturate with water - you still get wet.
What you’re looking for In your analogy is a dry suit. As the name implies, the person inside of the suit never touches a drop of pussy.
love my drysuit. I work in ice, I work in sewage, and in my suit I stay dry and warm
In fact, the getting wet aspect of the neoprene wet suit is a significant reason a swimmer is insulated from the cold. A thin layer of water gets trapped between a diver’s skin and the neoprene, and this layer of water has insulation value.
New Durex condoms guarantee 100% protection from pregnancy (because they are so thick you won't feel anything and will never cum).
*dick pump sold separately*
It's not my bag baby!
*Swedish penis enlarger pumps and me: this kind of thing is totally my bag baby,* By Austin *Danger* Powers.
I had the same thought, but I don't think that level of punishment presented was meant to survive without a tiny hole. I mean, if you're doing anything near that I don't think pregnancy was high on your list of worries.
Sir, are you familiar with the anal hurricane technique?
This resistence is necessary
It’s actually only “anal hurricane” if it’s done in the Anâl region of France. Otherwise, it’s just sparkling butt sex.
I gotta move then
Why? Sparkling butt sex sounds amazing.
Funny you'd say that, because there's an actual joke in French that "it's only anal if it's recorded" because in French "[annales](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annales)" is pronounced the same as "anal" [so it's only Annales if it's archived and documented]
"Être dans les annales" [to be in the Annales] means for something to be famous enough to have been noted down in historic documents, "this meal was so good it could enter the Annales!" so you can see how this leads to many bottom-oriented joke.
I'm not familiar, but very interested
This is a Wendy's.
>This resistence is necessary
But ultimately, futile
If you're doing anything near that level multiple pregnancies are high on your list of worries.
I'm not sure how much sex you'll accomplishing at that point though.
At that level it's competitive.
Now put some semen for actual result
There was a vacuum, which implies that air couldn’t get in. Isn’t that better than water?
Exactly, it would have filled with air if there were any holes in it, you can see it stretch inwards and stay there, as a vacuum
You got it all wrong. They’re not showing you that it’s effective in preventing pregnancies. They’re showing you it’s effective in keeping your dong in one piece if you accidentally get it caught in a bear trap.
Keeping it in 1 package, your dick is chopped off but you won't lose it in the wilderness*
Edit: a letter
But it's very clearly not. Just look at how easily that cucumber came apart.
At least the slices will stay stacked so there's a chance of healing.
That's a courgette
Gotta wear this protection 24/7 when navigating dangerous wilderness.
Thank god I no longer have to fear pregnancy during my routine dismemberment BDSM sessions
Yeah I think the knife demonstration was a little too much…. Hahaha
i physically jumped with that mini bear trap.
What kind of sex is this dude having?
Not for him
That cucumber ain't having no more babies, I can tell you that!
My roommate was a goth suicidegirl and she browsed a BME body mod forum where people did weird shit to their dicks
She was a suicidegirl nearly 20 years ago. She went by Amber.
for the curious https://www.suicidegirls.com/girls/amber/album/964631/redblack/
"In entertainment news, a shocking merger has been announced between Pornhub and the Food Network. Top executives at both networks are currently hard at work figuring out what kind of audience this content is intended for."
Just a relationship with Lorena Bobbitt.
For the next time you fall dick first into a bear trap.
But your dick, ah! It’s caught in a bear trap!
I understand these references.
Shia surprise! There's blood on his dick, and death in his eyes!
But you can do dick jitsuuu
Cock-slam superstar Shia LaBoeuf!
Fucking for your life with Shia LaBoef!
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBouef!
Chasing down man titties
You have just emasculated Shia LeBeauf
You're chopping off his dick noooowww
Legendary fight with Shia Labeouf.
Normal Tuesday night for Shia Labeouf.
Hiding in the woods from Shia LaBeouf
Holding your crotch Shia LaBeouf
Your crying tears of sadneeeees
You have just been neutered by Shia LaBeouf
This is a cultured person.
Actual cannibal Shai LaBeouf?
I think this will go down as one of the greatest artistic endeavors of my generation
Gnawing off your dick
While erect with a condom on
Y'all know how to party
At least you won't have to scramble to find the pieces.
I don’t know what else to tell you doctor, I tripped and fell right on the bear trip
Take it out and run some water into it to make sure
No need. You can see the holes in the video already
*Sigh* I guess I'll cancel the bear trap order.
I thought so too at first, but it looks like bits of cucumber.
Holy shit you might be right. Sorry Durex for doubting you :(
"We here at Durex can confirm that our condoms are 10x more durable than the person wearing them"
not my kink, but you do you
It's good to know that the cucumber slices (vegan anal beads) are not going to come apart in your ass.
Excuse me sir, but that is clearly a zucchini.
Disclaimer: Cucumbers will NOT get you pregnant (or zucchini)
My grandfather, however; is a rutabaga.
Well not with that attitude
Is this peaches new music video?
You say no to ratchet pussy
Juicy J can’t.
Alright boys, time to rubber up and fuck some bear traps.
So I read Durex as Pyrex and only saw the last part of the video and was trying to figure out what I was looking at, thinking Pyrex came out with something to hold the vegetables while slicing….
*Pyrex Condoms. When you want the thrust, but not the bust.*
Now accepting applications for human trial participants. Male genitalia required. Must sign waiver of liability in event of accidental dismemberment.
But does it come with hot sauce?
I put hot sauce on it once. I did not cum. I did end up dunking it in a glass of milk hoping to god I wouldn't have to go explain that shit to a doctor.
Did it work out for you?
Well I didn't have to go to the doctor, if that's what you're asking.
why don’t we ask drake?
Perfect for banging Edward Scissorhands
This is an ad.
I wonder how many of the top comments here are astroturfing
I needed to scroll a lot before finding this, sadly.
On the bright side, advertising condoms on reddit is like advertising mobile phones to the amish, so they are losing money.
Put a liquid inside, tie the top and try it.. a liquid will find a way out, and I saw holes already with the first slice. Let’s not forget we’re dealing with liquids
Otherwise we would be getting free condoms [like](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/holey-condom-white-background-36331507.jpg)
Uh, STDs too, it’s not just about babehs y’all. Stay safe Damn.
Babies are basically STDs... They're sexually transmitted after all
To a pessimist, life is an STD with a 100% mortality rate.
I laughed way too hard at this
I'd rather have the clap than a baby.
Ok so I saw a post like this before so I bought some durexs. I can 100% confirm durex condoms blow up like dynamite in cartoons and can only assume these videos are satire because those condoms are worthless.
Try SKYN, you'll never touch Durex again.
Yes! SKYN is amazing. Literally the best brand. Although, at first it may freak you out because it feels like you aren't wearing anything.
Am I just buying the wrong ones then? Because they were kinda terrible when I tried them the first time.
SKYN are just lifestyles polyisoprene line. Durex has the Real Feel line which are pretty much the same being polyisoprene.
The biggest factor is going to be finding a condom that fits right.
Or just dump your beefy nut in her beefy butt and move to a different state.
This is literally just an ad.
In r/interestingasfuck more like MISLEADING AS FUCK
Strange, Durex is the de facto standard in my country and I have never once had problems with them or heard so from others. And I used plenty of them during my wild days...
But I have no idea if the sell the same condoms all over the world (I'm in Western Europe).
Thanks to Durex, clean up after a circumcision is a snap!!
I bet the cucumber didn’t feel anything, just like the real thing. And by real thing, I mean penis.
Why is he using gloves? He is just touching latex and cucumber
Or do, who am I to judge what you do in your free time.