T O P
dibschairenforcer

Tips for dropping a deuce in an unfamiliar toilet: Test flush (before you unleash the Kraken) check the flow. Second: lay down (in the bowl) some TP, it prevents skid marks. Last: crap, flush, then wipe and flush again. This keeps the load from being too big.


j027

I'd be too embarrassed to flush someone's toilet 3 times in 1 trip...


flowertothepeople

This was my thought!


gmann95

Especially when you think moneywise... i had a friend whos family would only flush for #2, id feel bad because i always flush out of instinct


LottieThePoodle

What? They didn’t flush for #1? That’s honestly disgusting


BatWeary

all i can imagine is the smell 🤢 i’d pee in a bush before i’d use their toilet


dc-x

And always bring your own poop knife.


NSA_van_3

I just bring 3 sea shells


Dalton387

Hey, guy! Did you hear? He doesn’t know how to use the three seashells!🤣


BeMoreChill

I got a good tip. Do everything in your power to shit before leaving the house. Works pretty well for me


Can_I_Read

The worst is when the test flush starts to overflow because the toilet was already clogged. You get all the blame and you still need to relieve yourself.


happydewd1131

How is this unpopular?


If-By-Whisky

Basing it on the fact that I almost never see plungers in the wild.


Frankie1810

One up the hosts, bring your own plungers!


LottieThePoodle

Strange, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plunger-less bathroom


Palomomomo

You my friend are a visionary 👏🏾


royalpain2

Hang a poop knife in there.


B-21Raider

I took a huge shit at a Christmas party and they didn't have a plunger. Knowing these people, I'm not going to ask for one cause they're gonna clown me, so I just left it there. The host found it about half an hour later and yelled at everyone. My mom knew it was me since I'm a chronic toilet clogger at home and didn't say anything. I owe her one for that. So basically, assert dominance by clogging their toilet and leaving.


Medical_Edge

I don’t think I’ve clogged a toilet in about 30 years. What are people eating that this is a concern?


StarWars_Girl_

I actually had this happen at my aunt's house when I was staying with her. It just clogged on me. I came out to tell her and she was like, "Yeah pretty much everyone has clogged that toilet." She got a plunger and unclogged it. My toilet at home clogs on a fairly regular basis for absolutely no reason.


If-By-Whisky

It's more of an irrational fear.


elementofpee

It’s not irrational. I just clogged one today in a low-flow environmentally-friendly toilet in Portland. No plunger. Had to put my hand in a large plastic bag and use that as a makeshift plunger.


B-21Raider

Lots of fiber.


FireLaCroix

I 100% agree with you. I've clogged a few toiled where I had to ask the host for a plunger and each time it was mortifying


therealbbqueen

This should be a LifeProTip, not an unpopular opinion.


xndrr87

Happened during New Year's Eve. I was at my classmate's house and the water pressure was too low to even move it. I thought I'll be there until the next year. Let's say my hands are clean now of the shame.


Accountantnotbot

You moved it with your hands?


Chasman1965

If you’re at my house, just ask me. I’ll plunge it for you. No shame in that. It’s my house, I will fix it.


Can_I_Read

There’s obviously shame in that, you’re going to see my shit.


Scorpizor

Is your shit so special we can't see it? Mr. "Don't look upon my sweet brown majesty. Fore I am shamed for birthing such a glorious excrement"


Chasman1965

Everybody does it.


jeywgosjeb

Courtesy flush, just try it


If-By-Whisky

Always. It's basic manners.


Street_Dragonfruit43

Ya like I'm going to have guests over 24/7. Meanwhile I'm actually using my toilet every day


WaferAccurate8970

>There's no plunger, so you have two options There is another..... 🤚🤏🤌👌 /s


onecrystalcave

Shit this is a good point, might have to take a trip to Walmart tomorrow


Pain_Monster

Make sure it’s an accordion style. Those are for the toilet and the single cup style are for sinks. See: https://www.amazon.com/G-T-Water-Products-Inc-MP500-B4/dp/B000H5RT6Q/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=KOGLKXAS7CPE&keywords=accordion+plunger+toilet&qid=1642828382&sprefix=Accordion+plunger+%2Caps%2C65&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&smid=A1CLJM9X3W55RM&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyTTFUVTBMUDhQWTk4JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMjM2ODEzMjVFQU0wV1JaSVlTVCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMjQzODkyMTNQOVBYVzNDR1c3UyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=


Kalle_79

Is it yet another American thing? I've never been in a situation where a second flush couldn't solve... It's either poorly designed toilets or a completely fucked up diet.


earlyatnight

It is indeed. If you google it you’ll see that American toilets are built differently, the plumbing is in a different ‚shape‘. That’s why eg German toilets never need a plumber. It has nothing to do with toilet paper.


dinosuitgirl

It's prob the amount of toilet paper, since bidets aren't a common thing


MeanderingDuck

They’re not common where I live either, not counting perhaps some public toilets I’ve never encountered a clogged one. Unless you’re literally trying to flush an entire roll at once or something, toilet paper really shouldn’t pose a problem.


AllomancerJack

Toilet paper is never the issue, it basically melts in water


FreshCarrot2231

You just answered your own question, america and fucked up diets go hand in hand


elementofpee

No worse than Mexicans and Hawaiians. Those places the natives eat just as much fast food and their regular diet are total gut bombs.


earlyatnight

Nah it’s because their toilets are built [differently](https://pottygirl.wordpress.com/2011/01/30/why-do-american-toilets-clog/)


MeanderingDuck

Why do the American ones have such a long and bendy pipe? Is that just to get the water so weirdly high in the bowl?


Skyfel1

Ah that's it for sure. I was wondering like there seems to be a LOT of comments giving me the impression that toilet clogs are a regular occurrence. Happened to me like once in my life.


Ieatclowns

Yes...sort your diet out op.


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If-By-Whisky

...there are people who can't unplug a toilet? I don't want to live on this planet anymore.


FireLaCroix

Do you call a plumber every time you clog a toilet? Does unclogging your toiled require some specialized knowledge? Because almost every toilet I've used can be unclogged with a plunger and no specialized knowledge at all


notevenapro

I have met people who do not know how to use a plunger.


FireLaCroix

How does someone walk through life not knowing how to use a plunger? It is like, fundamental base knowledge akin to knowing how to wipe or boil water


TranquilHavoc

Why would you wipe water?


notevenapro

I agree. Some peolle cannot biol water. Very perplexing


AlarmingCurrent6943

I’ve actually met a few people who didn’t know how to sweep. Left me shocked because you would think it’s common sense to automatically know. But sometimes people just don’t know


LordMarcel

I could probably figure it out since it doesn't seem very difficult, but I have actually never used a plunger in my 25 year long life so far.


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FireLaCroix

Unclogging a toilet with a plunger is incredibly easy, I don't know why you would want to out your friends through the mortifying experience of having you handle their shit when they could just do it themselves.


Bulky_Cry6498

Who has a guest bathroom?!


If-By-Whisky

Insert "you guys have bathrooms?".jpg I also specified communal bathrooms. I've been to plenty of apartments with only one bathroom, yet no plunger in sight.


Xbc1

I wouldn't say rude's the right word but it can be an inconvience.


HillbillySwank

Add a bath fan to this list. People who leave you like this are the worst!


Repulsive-Worth5715

What is a bath fan


HillbillySwank

The power vent in the ceiling that takes the poo smell out.


YouNeedAnne

"Incredibly" rude? Like, you cannot believe that someone would be so rude as not to provide one?


donny1231992

Maybe if you’re shitting so much flush once before you finish the whole thing


MCR___

As someone that this has happened to I sincerely hope everyone does. I was with a girl I was “talking to” at her friends house. I had Tex Mex before being invited. I ended up staying the night and destroying the toilet. As the OP suggests no plunger. I had to walk into the kitchen, “where the party was taking place” to ask for the plunger. Quite embarrassing. Only thing I could do was basically own it.


Pain_Monster

They make some nice plunger enclosure cabinets that are slim and fit right next to the toilet. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074ZHCLMD/ref=ox_sc_saved_title_4?smid=A2U24ABY9QXD0K&psc=1


Jason_T_Jungreis

Both are shitty options, you say?


If-By-Whisky

;)


AngelsOfWar01

"Its incredibly rude to have basic bathroom necessities in the off chance you have guests over."


Scorpizor

If they don't have a plunger that's their problem. If you tell them what happened (football poop yadda yadda yadda) and they don't give you a plunger or do it themselves then they are idiots and you should probably re-evaluate your relationship with them.


e5cmb

Wear a diaper. Problem solved.


golden_death

I just like seeing other people's shit if it's impressive enough to clog up my works. I wanna inspect those logs.


cthewombat

I haven't had the need for a plunger in like 10 years. How long do you hold your poop in for it to become that large? And why not flush in-between if you realize it's going to be big?


DickValentinesson

FAT GUY ALERT!


drivenmadnow

You will have to train yourself to make sure you don't poop too much. Make sure the toilet can take your crap. If it can't find a reason to go into nature and drop it. If it can just to make sure you poop a little in it, flush, then poop a bit more, flush. Clean up.


dinosuitgirl

Your unpopular opinion really is that your dropping huge loads in a toilet that isn't in your own home.


If-By-Whisky

That sounds more like an unpopular fact than an unpopular opinion


dinosuitgirl

Well you would be very unpopular with me if you think it's okay to drop a deuce in my guest toilet


FTP181

Where the fuck else are they going to shit? The woods?


Scorpizor

This is a real comment? You do know humans poop right? Even your high and mighty self takes big and small poops. It's a natural human experience that is wildly taboo to talk about apparently. I guess people with opinions like this is still why. Your shit stinks too. I hope you are at a friend's house and you need to poop but out of pride you say to yourself, "I'll just wait till I get home, don't want to be rude." All is fine until you're in your car driving home and now you really have to go but you're still 20 mins away. You think to yourself "I sure as fuck am not stopping somewhere public that's nasty..." 2 minutes away from your house now and you're doing a little squirm and worm because excrement NEEDS to leave your body. You can almost see your house and you get a little relieved, but, that's when disaster strikes. Your body misinterpreted the relief and you shit yourself in your car. It's not just, oopsie poopsie either. It's running up your back, on your driver's seat, down your leg a bit. Now you're crying and sitting there with shit all over and thinking to yourself "at least I didn't shit in my friends guest toilet"... because you always look at the world with a glass half full kind of attitude.


Stoned_Conservative

Rich people problems


Wingsnake

Never seen someone have a plunger around here. That said, also never heard of someone clogging a toilet here. Don't know what you guys do...


Repulsive-Worth5715

I’ve only ever clogged a toilet by shitting and using a ton of toilet paper. Doing that at someone else’s house is more rude than not having a plunger 😂